• AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world
    331·
    9 months ago

    That’s exactly it. I miss the beautiful lie that never truly existed.

    I lamented my big ex for a years who left me for someone with money. Oddly it was a Wes Anderson film, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, that broke my fever.

    He had a submarine on his ship that was once called Jacqueline but the name was crossed out. At some point his new found son asked who Jacqueline was, and Steve says the damndest thing:

    “She didn’t really love me”

    That was the important bit missing in my heart. There wasn’t something that had been truly lost, it was never there to begin with. The person I thought I loved was a mirage and a facade. I’m sure for some that would make it worse, but it helped me greatly.

    • Stamets@lemmy.worldOP
      151·
      9 months ago

      As someone who struggles with yearning for an abusive ex… thanks. I think I kind of needed that too.

    • peopleproblems@lemmy.world
      7·
      9 months ago

      It’s a crazy thing to finally be able to say.

      My parents warned me 13 ish years ago that she doesn’t really love me and will cause a lot of pain one day when I realize that.

      Oooo boy I wish I listened

  • JoeCoT@kbin.social
    18·
    9 months ago

    I miss the good times. I don’t miss the incredible jealousy, having to slowly shed all my female friends. I don’t miss arguments because some girl heart reacted my fb post. I don’t miss the gaslighting. I don’t miss just having to give her her way because she would never compromise, or see something from someone else’s perspective.

    I miss the year where I thought she was honest about being over her jealousy issues, when she wanted to be Poly. Where I could at least have healthy friendships again, while still being with her. Where I thought maybe I could fix things, turn our relationship around. But all of that was a mirage. She didn’t stop being jealous because she had changed. She stopped being jealous because she was done, and just leaving me slowly, and wanted to date another guy so she’d have another relationship to catch her when she left.

    • Stamets@lemmy.worldOP
      101·
      9 months ago

      He was in one of the worst seasons of Dexter too but was the shining light in it all. A gay mafia boss who was executing people left right and center to get vengeance for his lost love. Such an incredible character and portrayed AMAZINGLY well. Dude won me over immediately. I’ll watch anything with him in it and he was definitely the best part of Ahsoka by far. Although… that’s not saying a huge amount, unfortunately.

      Now Andor…

    • Igloojoe@lemm.ee
      2·
      9 months ago

      His story arc was kinda the most interesting out of all the BS of ahsoka. Fallen jedi (i wouldnt even call sith) acting as a mercenary because of a calling in the force. The same thing calling him, scaring the nightsisters away.

  • smotherlove@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    12·
    9 months ago

    7 years down the fucking shitter and she only left after she finished destroying my life. I wish things didn’t end the way they did because my memories of her are all tainted with the knowledge that she was never who I thought she was.

    • pancakes@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      2·
      9 months ago

      I just got out of an 8 year relationship within the last month. I don’t know what to offer you besides hoping that you did have some good memories to remember together and it sounds like not having them in your life is better in the long run for you. Hopefully your time together helped improve you as a person and you can go forward a stronger person, or the emotional space you have now can help lead you down a path of self-improvement.

      • smotherlove@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        3·
        9 months ago

        Honestly I have been searching desperately for a silver lining and there truly just isn’t one. I lost my job because of the stress of trying to save the relationship and mental health has been too wrecked to even begin the search for new work. My apartment looks like a hoarder’s den because I can’t bring myself to do any chores. My health is deteriorating rapidly due to stress and because I don’t eat most days. Not for lack of money, I just can’t bring myself to do anything. And the fucking nightmares, every night. I’ve become so jaded I don’t even recognize myself anymore.

  • tygerprints@kbin.social
    31·
    9 months ago

    There’s a lot of truth to this. I miss the idea of being coupled, but I don’t miss the petty stressors.