Yeah it makes it difficult. I used to smoke and honestly it was much easier to meet people that way. Also binge drinking. Everyone is your friend when you have had 12 drinks in a single night.
It’s much easier to socialize when you engage in negative behaviors.
This is my problem with meeting people, only I don’t like to drink (or smoke for that matter). The smell drives me insane so I don’t even like being around people who do it unless I’m getting paid for it.
Yeah, you do. If you want to be part of the group. Otherwise you are ‘weird’ and they don’t like you.
That’s why I left. I was sick of being told I was ‘weird’ for not being a low grade alcoholic. Or the ‘you are no fun’ ‘why are you so uptight’ etc.
You act like all people are reasonable and respectful and wonderful. They often aren’t. A lot of people cannot respect someone who doesn’t drink, or who doesn’t get drunk. I drink, but I don’t get drunk. People who like to get drunk don’t like people who like being sober, because they are different than them and they see that as a threat.
It doesn’t even have to be about alcohol. Another reason I hated these groups is the gossip and drama. I don’t like talking shit about other people behind their back, and that is happened almost every time after a game or practice. Other people think that is fun and it’s the point of socializing for them to gossip and cause drama.
yeah but not everyone likes sports or the cultures around them.
when i was younger i did some frisbee but i wasn’t down with the alcoholism associated with it. i liked drinking, but i didn’t want to go out to a bar and get shitfaced after every event.
wipe it and donate it to someone who needs it.
who is stopping you from going to the store and buying cookies and juice boxes?
Yeah, that’s exactly where I met them. They go to both.
every art person i ever dated was a rich douchebag that hated people for not being rich and spent most of our dates whining about how they weren’t rich enough.
it’s a good way to meet new people. i do many of those things. none of them are good for meeting young single women.
where i live young single women are entirely focused on hanging out in bars, restaurants, and traveling. They don’t do hobbies or volunteering. the women who do that stuff are usually older or married or lesbian.
the commenter is saying to get on dating apps to make friends.
you sound like someone who blocked lemmy.ml
is it astroturing it just a lot of smug young ideologues sitting in their basement blaming capitalism for their lack of happiness?
astroturing implies they get paid.
this comment is poetry.
lemmy does totally lack the vibrant niche communities. i loved the circlejerk communites especially ragging on the stupid stuff in hobby subs, but that can’t be here because the mainstream hobby communities have zero users or activity.
public transit for outer suburban and rural areas is also a major economic loser. the ridership is too low to basically fund the service and it must be run at massive losses.
this same problem is affecting rural healthcare and other community resources. most rural people are far better off commuting 2hrs+ to a urban hospital that is better staffed.
I gave up on bike people. There is just way too much bullshit involved in cycling communities, and way too many people who are bitter that other people ride different kinds of bikes than they do. Way too many of them would rather bitch about other cyclists than actually just ride their bikes and be happy.
I used to teach people how to fix bikes but I quit after it went from a fun thing to be being lectured about how ‘problematic’ I was for having a penis and that what we ‘really need’ is woman-identifying person to teach women. Because all men are inherently evil or something.
Bikes are suppose to be fun. Not a proxy for people’s identity and political issues. But sadly that is what people prefer, to create their little tribes and be an asshole to anyone who isn’t part of their tribe.
I love being an adult. It’s amazing.
I absolutely hated Kindergarten. Being subjected to the whims of clueless adults is miserable.
Totally true. Some cities/places are just not good for meeting people. Some have very insular and closed off social cultures, others are more open.
Yep. Meeting people is boring and hard and most people are not going to be interested in interacting with you. But some will. And you will get to know them and maybe you will not be interested in them. That’s fine.
The problem is people take stuff so personally. And also they don’t like the ‘deliberate’ nature of adult relationships, because in college/school you’re basically forced to socialize and befriend people. As an adult, it’s entirely optional.
So manipulate people I meet on dating apps to date their hotter friends?
Now you’re just arguing for dishonestly and manipulation. Nice. So upstanding.
I’m not isolated from society. I just don’t use people on dating apps or treat them like social commodities. The fact you think in such dicthomies is alarming. You’re either socially isolated, or you need to use people.
Where I stand I have honest and healthy relationships. I don’t go around trying to acquire people like Pokemon and I certainly don’t use dating apps for a social life.
No, that’s my life experience. No woman from a dating app has ever wanted to be my friend unless she was trying to get in my pants and I wasn’t into her.
You are a woman clearly, you have a lot more social luxury and I bet you 100% all the ‘male friends’ you met on dating apps are secretly hoping one day you will ‘wake up’ and date them.
Men and women can be friends, but not from a dating app where the intention is attraction and sex. I have lots of female friends but I am not attracted to them.
No.
They are just a bunch of anti-USA types who just think this conflict is evidence of the collapse of America, or something. And they are eager cheering on the supposed downfall, and begging for any narrative or infopoint that makes america look bad.