I have a 16-year-old son. I’m in my early 30s (had him very young) and a professional footballer. My son also dreams of becoming a successful footballer (he’s been playing since he was 6), but he’s just… not great. He’s good, but not great - and in this extremely competitive industry you need to be at least great in order to even stand a chance. So I told him, as someone who’s been doing this for a very, very long time & is active in this sphere, that he should find another, more attainable dream. He took it as me not believing in him, but I’m just objective and realistic.

    • dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works
      1811·
      13 days ago

      This is a life at stake. Don’t tell this guy to be a pushover to spare a feeling. It’s way WAY worse to fuck a whole life thinking you’ve got a career that your parents know something about when you DONT.

      This is a shitty, entitled take. Some people are good at some things. Some are good at others. Don’t gaslight your kid to think he’s an astronaut and let the world teach a lesson. That makes you a SHIT parent.

      You know who makes 6 figures? A fucking lot of people. Cool, good on you, you’re not a unicorn.

      • lud@lemm.ee
        10·
        13 days ago

        Life at stake?

        Eh no, not knowing that you should have a backup plan if you want to do stuff like football is far from ruining a whole life.

        Let’s say that they figure out that football is a no go at 25 or something ridiculous like that, what happens? Nothing. They can just do something else, they can even study and get some good education if they want. Switching careers isn’t impossible like you make it out to be. Hell, depending on where you live you might even get paid by the government to get a better education.

        Let the kid do football but encourage them to do other stuff too (like getting a good education).

    • acutfjg@feddit.nl
      43·
      13 days ago

      Generalized animosity from a parent to their child is the not the same as seeing a niche interest that most likely won’t work out based on facts.

      You’re giving survivorship bias for two completely different situations. He’s not telling his kid he can’t do anything. He’s being very specific, and that specific thing is also already very difficult to obtain for anybody, let alone those with great skills.

      • Libra00@lemmy.worldEnglish
        41·
        13 days ago

        And you’re saying the lessons from one thing aren’t directly applicable to the other when they are. It’s like saying no one who was ever physically abused as a child can ever talk about why hitting a child is bad because they’re just giving survivorship bias for two completely different situations. The lack of belief still hurts whether it’s an isolated incident or a pattern, and OP needs to know that.

        • acutfjg@feddit.nl
          21·
          13 days ago

          You’re right, I am saying it’s not directly applicable.

          You can use parts of it to make an example, but that’s not what they did. They basically said you’ve ruined the relationship because that’s what they experienced their whole like till they met their partner.