As U.S. birth rates hit a record low, right wing pundits are urging Americans to do everything they can to avoid a “baby bust.” The Onion asked conservatives to explain why they believe American women should birth more babies, and this is what they said.

From the Onion

  • ConstableJelly@beehaw.org
    30·
    1 year ago

    Funniest:

    “Once you’ve had one baby, that one needs a friend! Then that next one needs an enemy, which means you’ll need a fourth to be a peacemaker, unless the first one steps up to the task.”

    Saddest:

    “The more children we have in schools, the greater your chance someone else’s kid will get shot.”