I catch myself too often thinking that this is what it’d be like to be mauled to death in the jungle by a tiger.

Me: “Oh aren’t you a cute little kitty hey?”
Tiger: *pounces*
Me: “Blurrgh oof gosh your fur is sooo soft!!”
*violently mauls with paw*
Me: “Oh wow such huge toe beans!!”
*continues violently mauling and biting*
Me: *happy gurgling sound of blood filling up my trachea*