Oh sure, lemme just pull out all this disposable income and time I have for drinks, cab fair. Yea its definitely within budget to spend $50 round trip traveling + $50 buying rounds + $30 food + etc etc etc.
For sure I can do that 3-4 times a week to be social. That’s only like ~$500 a week. Or ya know what, maybe we just cut down to like twice a week, thats only $1k a month. Who cant afford that, right?
Ya know what, maybe we just need to cut some costs. Hmmm cab fair is expensive, let’s just drive! That’s easier anyways, let’s get drunk and drive a couple days a week because we cant afford to be responsible AND sociable…
EDIT: actually, know what, I thought up another way to save some money. Lets save some money on food. We can’t afford to be eating out all the time anyways. So yea, lets go out, drink on an empty stomach and drive home. Making some changes! Making friends! Going out and being social!
What’s your monthly streaming bill? (Hoping you say $0 because YAAARRRRR!)
I’m not trying to presuppose everyone’s lives or say they have to be a certain way. But we can do things to be with people that doesn’t cost money or even involve drinking. I realize that I live in a very walkable, highly mass-transit-friendly, extremely accessible city. BUT, spending time with friends, playing games, riding a bike, walking, etc., are all ways to stop streaming and make changes.
I get it. You’re trying to unseat my statement as insensitive to your plight. I meant it in good faith, though. There was a time before smart phones and limitless streaming. We hung out, we played music, we read books, we drew, we painted, we lived. We can still do it.
It’s hard. I’m trying. I try to draw every day. I spend time writing for a D&D game I DM for. I write music and try to get through the dumb darkness we’re living in. Streaming comes at the end of the night when I am going to bed.
Good luck. I wish more social life and socialism for everyone. :)
Drive to each others places and don’t drink. You don’t need alcohol to have a good time with friends. Hang out online. Meet people who live in walking distance.
None of these options is perfect; we’d rather be able to meet exactly whom we want, and do exactly what we want when together. But the topic is socialising, not socialising in exactly the way we prefer.
Most of my friends don’t live in the same city as me, so it’s not easy for me either. But by one method and another I still have social contact.
Sounds like a very car centric lifestyle. I moved to a bike friendly city and my outings cost much less. A six pack of beer from the store will last me two nights out. A night out might be biking to a friend’s place for board game night or doing a group bike ride with stops on the way. Night out costs like 5usd. Granted, that’s not the only socializing I do, but in the summer especially I bike or walk 99% of the time.
Right, in a world where everyone seems to be saying “Don’t bother strangers in public, nobody wants to be bothered!” I’m supposed to just go out and… talk to strangers… until I magically make friends?
So all the things people criticized me for in the past (i.e., talking to strangers who apparently didn’t want to be bothered) are now precisely what I’m supposed to do to overcome the symptoms of the social rejection I experienced from being labeled as someone who talks to strangers in public?
Yeah, I’d rather die alone than twist my brain into knots trying to decode that jumbled mess.
Yeah, that’s something I’m just not capable of. I tried for years but it always left me perplexed. Humans are strange, ambiguous creatures, and I don’t have whatever it is that let’s them decode each other’s hidden meanings. People have always expected me to just magically know without being told.
I don’t get it. I never have. When my imagination is all that’s left to fill in the blanks, it comes up with some pretty grotesque distortions. I no longer place any credence in anything I don’t know for fact. I’m too old to lose my sanity again trying to figure out whatever the fuck “read between the lines” even means…
It’s not too late to change your ways.
Oh sure, lemme just pull out all this disposable income and time I have for drinks, cab fair. Yea its definitely within budget to spend $50 round trip traveling + $50 buying rounds + $30 food + etc etc etc.
For sure I can do that 3-4 times a week to be social. That’s only like ~$500 a week. Or ya know what, maybe we just cut down to like twice a week, thats only $1k a month. Who cant afford that, right?
Ya know what, maybe we just need to cut some costs. Hmmm cab fair is expensive, let’s just drive! That’s easier anyways, let’s get drunk and drive a couple days a week because we cant afford to be responsible AND sociable…
EDIT: actually, know what, I thought up another way to save some money. Lets save some money on food. We can’t afford to be eating out all the time anyways. So yea, lets go out, drink on an empty stomach and drive home. Making some changes! Making friends! Going out and being social!
What’s your monthly streaming bill? (Hoping you say $0 because YAAARRRRR!)
I’m not trying to presuppose everyone’s lives or say they have to be a certain way. But we can do things to be with people that doesn’t cost money or even involve drinking. I realize that I live in a very walkable, highly mass-transit-friendly, extremely accessible city. BUT, spending time with friends, playing games, riding a bike, walking, etc., are all ways to stop streaming and make changes.
I get it. You’re trying to unseat my statement as insensitive to your plight. I meant it in good faith, though. There was a time before smart phones and limitless streaming. We hung out, we played music, we read books, we drew, we painted, we lived. We can still do it.
It’s hard. I’m trying. I try to draw every day. I spend time writing for a D&D game I DM for. I write music and try to get through the dumb darkness we’re living in. Streaming comes at the end of the night when I am going to bed.
Good luck. I wish more social life and socialism for everyone. :)
Drive to each others places and don’t drink. You don’t need alcohol to have a good time with friends. Hang out online. Meet people who live in walking distance.
None of these options is perfect; we’d rather be able to meet exactly whom we want, and do exactly what we want when together. But the topic is socialising, not socialising in exactly the way we prefer.
Most of my friends don’t live in the same city as me, so it’s not easy for me either. But by one method and another I still have social contact.
Sounds like a very car centric lifestyle. I moved to a bike friendly city and my outings cost much less. A six pack of beer from the store will last me two nights out. A night out might be biking to a friend’s place for board game night or doing a group bike ride with stops on the way. Night out costs like 5usd. Granted, that’s not the only socializing I do, but in the summer especially I bike or walk 99% of the time.
You could just go to the park or some other free venue
The issue is getting others to do the same
That would require friends, which is a factor beyond my control…
Not 100% under your control, but certainly not “beyond control”
I can’t control other people. Other people can choose to not be my friend, to not invite me anywhere, to not talk to me, to leave whenever I show up.
No, having friends is something beyond my control.
Honesty just be
The best way to meet people is to talk to random strangers you happen to see once and a while
Right, in a world where everyone seems to be saying “Don’t bother strangers in public, nobody wants to be bothered!” I’m supposed to just go out and… talk to strangers… until I magically make friends?
So all the things people criticized me for in the past (i.e., talking to strangers who apparently didn’t want to be bothered) are now precisely what I’m supposed to do to overcome the symptoms of the social rejection I experienced from being labeled as someone who talks to strangers in public?
Yeah, I’d rather die alone than twist my brain into knots trying to decode that jumbled mess.
You need to learn to read the room (and individual people)
Yeah, that’s something I’m just not capable of. I tried for years but it always left me perplexed. Humans are strange, ambiguous creatures, and I don’t have whatever it is that let’s them decode each other’s hidden meanings. People have always expected me to just magically know without being told.
I don’t get it. I never have. When my imagination is all that’s left to fill in the blanks, it comes up with some pretty grotesque distortions. I no longer place any credence in anything I don’t know for fact. I’m too old to lose my sanity again trying to figure out whatever the fuck “read between the lines” even means…