I felt like I was breathing through the eye of a needle, and my chest tightened considerably.
The Israeli interrogator had just asked me if I agreed to cooperate with them or not, if I would go down into a tunnel.
My nerves were on edge, my mind reeling; I didn’t know what I should choose.
It was after midnight on 7 December 2023 – the interrogator was sitting in front of me, a table in between us.
I was seated in a school chair, stripped down to my underwear and wrapped in a blanket.
My throat was still moistened from the sip of water I had just been given, and the sweet taste from the chocolate bar with nuts and dried banana chunks lingered in my mouth.
All these were enticements from the interrogator to gain my trust as he questioned me.
I appreciate your peaceful motivations. I am not interested in offending you and I recognize we have very different life experiences and perspectives on this.
We disagree on some points regarding fault or whether being “brainwashed” is a factor in how culpable a sadistic, narcissistic, blood-thirsty bigot should be held. But, at the end of the day, the enemy we are discussing very much wants both of us to die. No amount of patience or Socratic method or kindness can change that (in my opinion).
I think our main disagreement comes down to how to handle being the targets of a violent enemy that can’t or won’t stop hating us. After a lifetime of pacifism, I have come to my own realization that peace simply cannot solve this problem. I see the danger increasing daily and my alarms are just getting louder and louder. I view my own inaction as a dereliction of responsibility. But, that doesn’t mean I expect you or any other victims of conservatism to be required to engage in violence.
I genuinely respect your preference for peace. I’ve held a similar position for the majority of my life. I really do wish I could still see things that way. And who knows? Maybe some poetic Deus ex Machina will descend from the heavens and make it all OK.
One thing I am confident about is that a conservative will never humanize us and will despise us until the day we (or they) die. Maybe you are right and brainwashing is to blame. Maybe the most culpable party is the media or the billionaires or Russia or all of them. In my opinion, the threat is still the conservative bigot, no matter who is to blame for creating that threat. I understand we disagree on this, and I respect your position.
I understand, and I really do feel your anger. I think we might’ve had a similar transition in opposite directions. Just please be safe and watch out you don’t succumb to the same cruelty they extend to you.