We met at a workshop and collab’d on a project. I asked if she wanted to go have a coffee with me some time. She said yes but didn’t seem too happy about it. At the actual date she just looked disdainful. Getting answers out of her was like wringing blood out of a rock. At the end I just decided to leave it, and left on as friendly terms as I could.
I still don’t know why she agreed to come. I hope she didn’t feel like she had to? I’ll never know
One guess is that maybe she had previously had someone she got along with really well (friend or collaborator) but he had caught feelings and asked her out and she rejected him because she wasn’t into him like that only for him to also withdraw from the platonic relationship. So, given that experience, she knew it was a lose-lose situation when you asked her out but decided to try accepting the date but just wasn’t into it at all.
Though another possibility is that she’s had bad experiences rejecting guys (or maybe with stalking) and instead goes with the strategy of accepting the date but making them no longer want her by basically grey rocking them during the date.
We met at a workshop and collab’d on a project. I asked if she wanted to go have a coffee with me some time. She said yes but didn’t seem too happy about it. At the actual date she just looked disdainful. Getting answers out of her was like wringing blood out of a rock. At the end I just decided to leave it, and left on as friendly terms as I could.
I still don’t know why she agreed to come. I hope she didn’t feel like she had to? I’ll never know
One guess is that maybe she had previously had someone she got along with really well (friend or collaborator) but he had caught feelings and asked her out and she rejected him because she wasn’t into him like that only for him to also withdraw from the platonic relationship. So, given that experience, she knew it was a lose-lose situation when you asked her out but decided to try accepting the date but just wasn’t into it at all.
Though another possibility is that she’s had bad experiences rejecting guys (or maybe with stalking) and instead goes with the strategy of accepting the date but making them no longer want her by basically grey rocking them during the date.
Second one sounds more plausible. I think she somehow felt she couldn’t say no… which is a bit distressing on all fronts