• flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    27
    arrow-down
    12
    ·
    10 months ago

    We’re not supposed to victim-blame, but imo this applies only if the person was lured under false pretenses, or forced somehow.

    It’s Kanye West. Everyone knows who and what Kanye is. Even if you don’t it’s a 5 second google search to find out.

    • Lmaydev@programming.dev
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      23
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      10 months ago

      Abuse often works this way.

      Usually it’s intermittent and when they aren’t being abused they are super loving and caring.

      This leads to people thinking they are doing something wrong or that the abuser is a loving partner with problems that can be worked on.

      Abuse is incredibly complicated and until you’ve been through it it’s really hard to understand how anyone could put up with it.

      • DreamButt@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        edit-2
        10 months ago

        It’s often bi-directional as well. Sadly I know someone in a battered marriage situation and a big part of why they won’t leave is bc they don’t want the court (they have a kid) to find out they were also getting physical with their spouse. Codependency is a bitch

        • Lmaydev@programming.dev
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          edit-2
          10 months ago

          100%

          There’s reactive abuse. Where in response to abuse you defend yourself with abusive behaviour. Then the original abuser plays the victim and gas lights you.

          My marriage was like this. It was hell.