I don’t have much time today but I have to touch on the trans children part of your post.

Sorry you’ve agonized over that, because it just doesn’t happen. Nobody wants children to have gender reassignment surgeries but that point has been used to attack transgender rights and healthcare over and over again and it’s not even a real thing. Nobody is actually getting them because it makes absolutely no sense to do it. You can’t do a surgeries like that on a body that is still growing, it will 100% turn out completely botched. The only surgery that could maybe make any sense on a minor may be the removal of breast tissue on transmasc people but that would only be required IF the child hasn’t been put on puberty blockers in time AND is experiencing major distress because of it. Everything else can wait. Hell, a large number of, if not most, trans people will never even get a single surgery. Hormone Replacement Therapy alone is very often enough and it is completely safe.

If it has happened, it was 100% done by a quack surgeon who needs to have their license removed. Literally nobody is going to argue against that except maybe for bad actors/astroturfers or perhaps actually insane people. Believe none of what you hear and half of what you see, please. You don’t even have to believe me but don’t go repeating that shit because it is extremely harmful.

It absolutely infuriates me because people keep repeating that as if it happens and it is being used to deny trans care to children, which is not surgeries but puberty blockers and hormone replacement therapy. Puberty blockers are used to delay puberty in case the patient is not certain about their gender identity and it is 100% reversible. What isn’t reversible is going through the “wrong puberty” and kids are now being forced to go through that in many states. Not only does going through the wrong puberty actually CREATES the need for more surgeries in the future, it is traumatic. Puberty is already really hard to go through once (Even worse if it’s the wrong one), imagine having to do it twice. I’ve done it, would not recommend if it can be avoided. Especially later in life when the mental anguish, mood swings and everything else that comes with going through puberty are really not “acceptable behaviours” anymore because then you’re an adult, you have way more responsibilities on your hands and by then people have forgotten exactly how crazy puberty was so they can’t even relate in any way. It is very alienating.

Also I don’t remember much of what I typed yesterday, I was basically half asleep but I should make it clear that what I meant by helping is only what I need to do and have been doing personally. It’s going to be different for everyone but for me the number one thing to do right now is to try and heal the divide between people on different spectrums and it is something that I actually have some kind of power over. I believe we really ought to stop wasting time and energy on things we have absolutely no power over as individuals and concentrate on getting people back together. Since I’m trans, well, I feel like it’s my responsibility now to forget about the divide and to be kind to everyone, even the ones who may not have kind thoughts about me so that we may have a chance to actually talk and find understanding. How are we supposed to tell people how things actually are for us if nobody even listens to us in the first place.

That’s from my point of view and something that only really applies to trans people as we have been thrust into this position we never wanted to be in, but I’m sure we all have something “simple” we can do to start taking baby steps towards regaining our power as people. To me, everything else is counterproductive and only serves to create more divide as we are completely unable to find common ground anywhere. How are we to make big societal and political changes without it getting bloody if we can’t agree on or even discuss the stupidest little things.

The saddest part is that in reality we all want the same thing but “They” have us fighting about manufactured issues and differences that don’t actually matter at all.

I need to be able to do things like connect to someone else’s wifi without having to install package dependencies first.

Yeah exactly, and it has happened to me way too many times where I install something, like system updates, only to reboot to find that my GUI doesn’t work anymore. I do not have time for this.

Now, I too have a Samsung S22+ - and it is the only phone I have ever had that I outright despise.

RIGHT?! That’s the same one I have. It’s the WORSE phone I’ve ever had the displeasure of owning. I bought it because I thought the camera would be the best out of what was available at the time but it is TERRIBLE. I miss my old Huawei P20 Pro. Say what you want about the CCP but that phone was BY FAR the best phone I’ve ever had. I still use it every day as a camera but it has no SIM anymore.

Fairphone is definitely interesting. Until there’s a whole new revolutionary mobile device that comes out, there’s really no reason to go for flagships anymore, they don’t offer anything new anymore, so why not go for something like the Fairphone. I feel like the Apple Vision Pro is the closest thing we’ve seen since the first iPhones. Of course it’s way too big and cumbersome for now but nothing else has given me that feeling in my gut since I first laid my hands on the iPhone.

Like if you walk up and take their candy away from them, they scream “hey, that’s not fair!”

Not saying you’re wrong at all here but, a lot of that could very well come from nurture and also you’re literally taking something away from them it could be more about personally losing something than it not being fair. Would they react the same way had they not yet been taught the concept of fairness and just seen someone take candy from another child?

So if morality changes in the future - as it 100% definitely will - it seems doubtful that the Nature side of it would be altered much, in a short period of time (in the evolutionary/geological timescale sense), and rather that the Nurture side would teach them differently.

Yeah probably not. Nobody likes to be hurt (Unless…) and that is not about to change.

As Jesus Himself offered: “be thou not dicks to one another, and instead be most excellent to one another, my dudes”.

🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏

And this is why I am turning more to religious thoughts lately

That is pretty much exactly why I am doing so as well. It just makes sense.

Anyway the goal is: how can we help people, even when the major trend of that river of society is trying to bend away from that goal

This has been my biggest revelation of my life. I can’t exactly explain it in words, but my answer to the question “How can we help people?” is to just help people. There’s always someone who needs help, no matter how big or small their problem might be. It feels to me like a lot of us have no sense of community anymore, at least outside of the internet. We need to rebuild this. Personally I’ve been doing it by changing the way I talk to people. I no longer just ask people “Hey how are you” as a meaningless greeting, I changed it to “How are you doing TODAY” to try and get a real answer out of them. Then if I can see an opening I will ask if there’s anything I can help them with. I also try to smile at everyone I lock eyes with, at least when my mental state is good enough for it. I really dislike looking people in the eyes in the first place so it takes a lot out of me.

I used to judge people based on the way they look a lot because you can kiiinda tell when someone is gonna be “conservative” or whatever, it’s a defense mechanism for me because I do not feel safe anywhere these days. However, by doing that, I’m doing exactly the same thing that people I’d call bigots would do. Judging someone on appearances. Sometimes I’m afraid that by doing so and letting my guard down, I might end up getting hurt. However, if I keep acting like random people are my enemy, I am perpetuating a cycle that must end.

Occasionally I see a story that gives me hope (e.g. this one where he tries to fight against the trend), but they do seem to be coming much more rarely than in the past.

I feel like that’s just because those stories don’t sell as well and/or they get immediately buried by ragebait.

I have to end this one here. I am so exhausted I can barely read, I keep catching myself re-reading the last sentence I just read hahah. I will be back.

This user only spams their blog that is most likely lazy AI plagiarism. Reported and blocked.

Truly devout/pious folks from any religion I’ve known have been good people and a joy to be around. I think they’d be good people anyway though, and their religion just gave them a framework.

They probably would be yeah. Although I have family members who definitely weren’t great before they found religion. Two uncles in particular who are great now but were not on this path before. Then I have another uncle on the other side of my family who absolutely refuses to accept that his daughter is gay and him and his wife have put that child through absolute hell. I’ve seen videos of her mother screaming at her that she was the devil and all sorts of disgusting shit that a child should never hear from anyone let alone a parent. Being trans I’ve cut contact with them completely because even if they act nice in my face, I know what they say when I’m not around.

When folks use religion as their justification for behaving in ways that are clearly at odds with its most basic tenets, that’s what I find toxic, and do feel is far, far too common.

Yeah unfortunately it is. Religion is as corrupted as politics are these days. These people seem to think they’re only following the word of god but they’re just being manipulated. I can’t help but feel bad for them even if some of them would literally want to see me dead.

I’m probably coming in hot on the topic in general because although I’m a cishet white guy I’ve just about had it with the ridiculous bullshit from the right in this area in recent years, and it’s becoming a real hotbutton issue to me.

I get it. This all needs to stop. I’m just scared that if all sides just stay angry at each other we will never be able to get past this without things getting even uglier. So when I see someone like the dad in this story, I’d rather forget everything else and appreciate the fact that they’ve improved and even give them praise. They’ve admitted to being wrong at least once so maybe now they won’t be so quick to hate things they don’t understand.

I don’t know, maybe I’m naive. All I know is that I’m really sick of all the negativity, the constant outrage and outright ragebait articles, all the pundits and the talking heads who basically just try to make the other side look dumb for views, all of it. It feels like we’re all being played, even by the people on “our side”.

Linux users: I too might be one at heart:-)

Yeah I might be one too. I really want to use Linux and I’ve tried it many times but I have had issues with it every single time. Now I only use Linux as a print server for my 3D printer, it’s amazing for that.

I loved iOS back in the day, IF it was jailbroken but after the iPhone 4 I switched to Android and never looked back. I currently despise my Android phone though. I hate what Samsung has done with their flavour of Android. It feels SO invasive. Currently looking at Pixel phones so I can use GrapheneOS.

For cars, what if like a police-person demanded access to your vehicle, and if their company override did not work, they could confiscate the car?

I wouldn’t be surprised if one day things devolved that far but being the ODD-type person I am, that would just make me want to jailbreak it even more.

To me, leasing the operating system that your car runs on basically means you don’t own your car and that is a major turn off. Automatic updates, having features one day and not having them the next, etc.

who loses out - you or the company that leased it to you? (I don’t even know, does leasing work that way!?:-P)

Bahah I really have no clue, I have never leased a car. Always bought used and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

I don’t care about repercussions all that much, I’d rather deal with them if/when they come than stop myself from doing things just because I’m scared something may happen. Of course that depends on the situation but if we’re talking about modifying a device that you bought and paid for then I will do what I want, as long as I’m not endangering anyone. If I’m costing a multi-billion dollar corporation a couple dollars than that’s just something I’d be proud of.

I don’t know if good & evil are human conventions - I mean obviously to some extent, definitely the part about what we “accept” is

I mean, I don’t know either but yeah, I meant more like what we accept. I guess the way I see it is like, what if in the future, the only humans that are left to reproduce are the ones with psychopathic traits? They might have a whole other definition of what is good and what is bad/evil. I guess I don’t really know what goes on in the mind of a psychopath either so that hypothetical is probably not worth much hahah. Some animals do things that would seem absolutely evil to us, but would they think of it that way? I guess we don’t really know what they think about today or if they even think at all but whatever hahah.

are those things that are in-grained and inherent in us (and also other animals as well) the Truth, that we need to discover and obey b/c that is what will generate maximal Happiness for us?

It could very well be. We’ve evolved as a social species so it is in our best interest that everybody around us is happy and healthy. When things/people from outside our society threatens our health and happiness, we can commit great evils like it was nothing at all.

To clarify, I am not “pushing” for the death of democracy

Oh I wasn’t saying that you yourself actually were but more like, IF you were, I’d totally understand and respect it. Can’t blame anyone for being sick of this shit. You can’t get mad at a river for flowing where it does.

it looks like both sides are in agreement that e.g. the bottom HALF of all of Americans “should” only have 2% of the entire wealth of this country.

Yeah well that is a huge problem, but I doubt that most of the voters think that. That’s all the corruption. We don’t have a real choice anymore and it’s going to take a lot to change that. I’m all for eating the ultra-wealthy. People will eventually realize that they’re actually in an American Nightmare, wake up and demand their power back, at least I hope so. At that point, maybe the ruling class will loosen the leash a bit, or maybe they’ll kill us all or just leave the continent and let the vultures come pick at our dying carcasses, who knows.

then would they not allow us to make our own mistakes, as part of thier being perfect?

Well, maybe perfection includes accepting that mistakes are a part of getting to perfection. I guess it depends on how far we take “perfection” but if we were all born “perfect” for the world we are in, would we know how to deal with things that are unpredictable? Then again, absolute perfection could take away all the things that are unpredictable. I dunno, this whole line of thinking is breaking my brain at the moment hahah.

they don’t bother to figure it out, or even to search for proper interpretations. B/c they are stupid… and we have to come to terms with that - they just do not have capacity to evaluate such things, therefore they do not.

Well, some might not. Some were just indoctrinated so heavily from a young age that they can’t even conceive that their religion is not the Truth. I wouldn’t say they’re all stupid, but they certainly don’t waste time questioning these things like we do and I’m not sure that’s 100% a bad thing. For me it’s a bad thing because I enjoy thinking about these things and I do not want to blindly believe what a thousands of years old book is telling me about the nature of our existence. If I ended up at the same conclusion as my “Assigned Religion At Birth”, I wouldn’t be mad about wasting all that time thinking about it because that’s the game I decided to play and I didn’t want to just read the walkthrough.

Of course there’s always gonna be people who only have the capacity to repeat the things that were said to them. Those are the dangerous ones, the ones who are ripe for use and abuse. It is our responsibility to take care of them.

I find that irl I have much more in common with people of all religions who are thinkers, than I do with people who may just so happen to believe similar word-sounds as myself, but who don’t have the faintest idea what those concepts even mean.

Absolutely. I find I have much more in common with a religious thinker than I do with 99% of the people you’d find in Atheist communities even though you could easily think it’d be the opposite.

“be ye either hot or cold, but for fucks sake, at least care about it one way or the other you f-ing plebes!?”

100% my favorite passage!

You are an awesome person and I love hearing how you think:-).

It is reciprocal.

I agree that there are problems with that kind of religious thinking but what I got hung up on in your original reply was this

What happens when his interpretation changes again?

What says that the next interpretation will be negative? We can’t assume that. I know where you’re coming from and I was a bit bitchy in my reply, I’m sorry about that.

Who knows why he said those things the way he said it, but if that’s what it takes for him to accept the things that are going on around him then it’s just whatever, good for him. Who knows, maybe his next realization will be that the bible and religion aren’t “all that”.

The way I interpreted your post at first was almost like accusing someone of “futurecrime”. We don’t know what is in store for this person, all we know is that he had a change of heart about something but obviously he is not ready to let go of his religious beliefs. I guess it also made me a bit angry because it sounded like something I might’ve said a long time ago when I used to be fiercely anti-religion and I really don’t that old version of me. It wasn’t very productive.

Maybe that was a bit of projection on my part.

I wouldn’t dream of taking religion away from someone today. I don’t like it but for some people it’s all that they know and it’s how they make sense of the world. It’s a crutch but some people need it and are completely lost without it.

It’s not about that. The man is religious, that’s not gonna change from one day to the next. You don’t need to be religious to be a bigot, that was just his excuse.

What happened to being tolerant of others beliefs? Religion has nothing to do with being an ignorant bigot, it’s just often used as an excuse for it.

Edgy

I agree, it is incredibly frustrating but people learn at different paces and in different ways. Some people can only learn from hands-on learning and first-hand experiences.

(Mac OSX for me, though I hear that some people on Lemmy prefer Arch btw:-D)

Are you trying to tell me there are Linux users on Lemmy???

Anyway, I love thinking such thoughts:-D. I have no idea if doing so offers practical benefits Well, they may and they may not! It all depends on if you sometimes share these thoughts or not. The time you spend thinking and the things you think about definitely has an impact on your future interactions. It does not if you never actually do anything with those thoughts. A person who spends all their time thinking has nothing but thoughts.

It’s funny, recently I was thinking about electric car jailbreaking. It’s something that I find very interesting as electric cars these days kinda remind me of the early iPhone days. There are definitely people working on such things as we speak which can be a scary thought as this could be used for evil as easily as it could be used for good.

According to such thinking then, if the Illuminati control the world, then can Anonymous help fix it, like Robin Hood?

Well, good and evil are human creations. Like we’ve talked about in our previous comments, one can not exist without the other. If there is an “illuminati” there is going to, at least eventually, be an equal opposing force. They will eventually mutually destroy each other, giving way to a new good and evil of our own creation. It is a never ending cycle. At least that is how I see it.

He (Trump) may have done a lot better than Hilary Clinton would have to cause them to be fixed? She would have papered over the whole situation - her whole message was just “the status quo is absolutely fine” - but it is FUCKING NOT FINE!!!?!!!

Agreed. There is always good to be found in any situation if you know where to look. We sometimes focus way too much on the bad things themselves to realize that they actually have a role to play in fostering good. Of course nobody wants to be stuck in a system where they’re unhappy but if we’re “happy” all the time we grow complacent. Sometimes we need a good slap in the face to wake up.

If this truly is a non-viable solution to begin with, then whatever we end up with later could potentially be better?

Absolutely. I don’t think that means we should be pushing for the death of democracy, but if that’s how you feel then by all means, do it. Your thoughts and feelings about the situation are valid, as are everybody elses. It just remains to see if there are enough people who feel the same way for them to have enough mass to actually move things. Whatever happens happens.

I still have my preferences about the whole affair (If you see yourself in others, whom can you harm?), and I happen to hate it:-P, and I am okay with having that emotion about it.

Bahah, absolutely valid. You’ve had experiences that have shaped the way you view things and you are not wrong to have those thoughts.

Perfection

Ahhhh perfection lol. That is a fun concept. We have a broken definition of perfection because we do not understand that there is nothing that is “without flaw”. “Flaws” are part of a perfect design. I consider myself a perfectionist which is why I never get anything done. How perfect is that? I find it laughable when people praise God, saying he makes no mistakes, but then go on and talk about things being abominations in the eyes of God. Like who the fuck do you think you are to say things like that? Again I’m not much of a “religion” person, but the older I get, the more I realize that life IS actually perfect and if there is actually a God it indeed makes no mistakes. It is mind-blowing to me the system of checks and balances that are built into life itself. Every error eventually corrects itself, which can spell catastrophe for us as a species but in the grand scheme of things it is absolutely beautiful.

Yes, you read that correctly: I wish failure upon you

Thank you, that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me 😭!!

For real though, I am choosing myself now. More than I ever have and it has had a positive impact on everyone around me so far. I’m still available to everyone when they really need me but I’m not scared to say no when it’s not that important and I need to do my own things. If there are still abusers in my midst they will soon make themselves visible but so far so good.

Btw, good luck with your whole house situation - I am certain that cannot be trivially easy to handle:-).

Thank you, it has been absolute hell so far but I have some really good friends helping me with the things I’m not so good at and things are moving. I already have people lined up to rent the upstairs and I’m able to rent to them cheaper than all the other places they had looked at so I’m really happy about that. They seem like really good people too so I’m excited to have them as neighbors.

I’m not crying you’re… nah I’m crying.

I really don’t care what it takes for people to finally open their eyes and minds as long as it happens. This father could’ve very easily not accepted his daughter, but he did. Not only did he accept his daughter, he admitted to himself that he was wrong his entire life. It doesn’t matter how he was in the past, we should not judge him for it. He knows what he did and who he was, he will beat himself up over it enough and doesn’t need anyone else to help him with that. We should celebrate this man.

People who have awakenings like that later in life are very valuable allies. They can speak to segments of the population that we can’t and I am very happy to have someone like him on our side.

I’m trans and I don’t think conservatives just hate other humans. I think they’re scared and they don’t want “bad things” to happen to their communities and their children. They know things are fucked up right now, and they are right about that. It’s something we can all agree on.

The problem is that they’re being offered a bunch of things to point the finger at as a cause of their misery, like LGBTQ+ people/rights, immigrants, diversity, etc. On the other hand, those of us who are left-leaning are being offered the same type of thing, except in our case, it’s them. The media is doing such a good job of othering both sides that we’ve lost sight of their humanity and we don’t even listen to a single thing they have to say. Nobody is there to agree with them when they’re right and nobody is there to actually have a conversation when they’re wrong. Both sides just write off everything the other side has to say. It has to stop. If you think that these people only care about guns, taking away abortion right and getting rid of LGBTQ+ people, you’ve been played.

Politicians won’t stop using these things as political tools until we stop giving them reasons to. It is working so well for them.

Reality is that both sides are being manipulated. People on the left and people on the right are the same people and in these times we need to actively make an effort to remember that. Saying that conservatives just need to die out is so ugly and dangerous.

We need to start talking to each other again. We need to stop the constant consumption of outrage. I know it’s not an easy thing to do but you can do it, it can be done. It is an addiction that is destroying us all and it doesn’t matter if other people still consume, these things start with “You”.

Omg I have a couple minutes of free time today! I don’t remember where I was at before life came at me 😅

Speaking of I have not read a Satanic one - surely there must be more than one type? I read the one by Anton LaVey, it was kinda basic and very short but I still really enjoyed it. I’ve heard it described as “baby’s first Nietzche” and I guess that’d be a pretty apt comparison.

Perhaps Christianity will lose someday as well… or maybe Jesus is a space/reality alien and when the energy beings come to enslave the human race, those of us who follow it will have been more properly prepared to serve the new overlords?

Bahah I have definitely thought about that as well. Life is so crazy, I wouldn’t even be that surprised if that was the actual truth. It’s not as “out there” to me because I’m also out there but yes, it is out there. We do not know, we are not ready to know, we may not even want to know. All that I know is that the questions are wonderful and it’s the only thing in life that never gets boring.

It is a contradiction, and within that paradox lies such beauty as to take our breaths away. Yin and Yang - not one or the other, but fucking both, always and never not that

Amen! It’s sometimes hard to deal with this reality but that’s just how it has to be.

Conservatives just did not give two fucks about “him”, but they liked what he could do for them… it was quite strategic. Raw. Naked. Bleeding. Evil incarnate…

Yup. To be completely honest, I hate to say it but I was kind of one of those people in 2015. I was not a conservative, I’ve never been a conservative but I was miserable at the time, which I feel is his core demographic. Obviously I’m not even American so I couldn’t and wouldn’t have ended up voting for him but there was a time at the beginning where I participated in the Pro-Trump meme culture. I told myself, and I’m really sorry about that (oof I have a hard time typing it out because it’s so fucking stupid and shameful.), I told myself that Trump could be a “good candidate” because he was so bad he could bring down the “American empire” and then maybe “things could change”. Not thinking about what could end up replacing it, not even taking into consideration all the lives that could be affected or even ruined. I wasn’t evil but I was lost. I feel actual guilt about the way things turned out, like I actually had a part in it and my beliefs tell me that I did. Now I am very careful what I wish for.

This is why I have lost faith in democracy: it depends on presuppositions, specifically that the voting citizenry are aiming to vote correctly

I feel that. It is vulnerable from outside attacks, and also from the inside. I don’t know of a system that has no vulnerabilities though. As long as there are people involved, there are going to be vulnerabilities.

Oh well. Like everything else: I will enjoy it while I can.

Yup! Life is much better with that mentality. It’s cliché but it didn’t get to become cliché for no reason. Enjoy things as they are and embrace the changes when they inevitably come. I’m not saying we should just accept everything that happens but we need to find enthusiasm and a “raison d’être” in the new paths we are thrown into.

I want to share with you a phrase that I have always hated: “If you see yourself in others, whom can you harm?” Whoever invented that must have had two loving parents, and can just fuck right off as far as I am concerned for rubbing that in the faces of those of us who did not.

Aw, I’ve never heard that phrase before. I can see the spirit in which it is intended but I can also see your point. It must be terrible to have less than great parents. Fortunately (and also unfortunately), I have been very lucky in that department so I can’t even begin to truly understand how that must’ve been and I have tried.

It reminds me of something a friend told me a bit over 10 years ago that never left me. He basically said that whenever you dislike a person for the way they are, you’re probably seeing reflections of yourself that you try to hide. I felt it was true then and the older I get the more I find it to be true. I’ve also noticed that a lot of the people that I’ve become very close friends with have been people I kinda disliked on first impressions. I think that said a lot about myself as well.

I have been closing off so much lately that it will take some time to open up again:-(

Yeah I know how that feels. It’ll get better though and it is definitely not a waste of time.

The way I interpret it is just that he feels sorry for letting people down and not living up the the expectations people had of him, sorry for not actually being a saviour, even though he never said he was and it was something that was just dumped on him.

About me saying that I accomplish Mastery of my Mind …

I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around that paragraph. What is it that you mean by a struggle in this context?

Similarly, how can smart people convey the complexities of mathematics, of physics, of philosophy, to people who literally cannot - as in do not have the capacity to uptake - understand even a fraction of what you speak of?

Funny, I was thinking about something similar last night. I’m not a very mathematically inclined person but for some reason last night I was thinking about it and how people who are “mathematically inclined” must see the world in a completely different way than I do. Kind of like how your average gamer and a game programmer might see a video game world differently. You can try to explain to the gamer who knows nothing of the complexities behind game programming and how it is really just all numbers, but they might not be able to see the numbers that make up that beautiful world you’re playing in. This line of thinking can be applied to so many things. I sometimes feel like we may all be on the same planet but we all live in a completely different world.

Another thing I use the Bible for btw is as a repository of the “wisdom of the ages”

Yes, that is how I see it too. I don’t know if I had mentioned it in one of my previous replies, since I don’t even remember when that was, but I actually found my grandmothers old bible a couple days ago and decided to start reading it. I read the Satanic bible so I figured I might as well give God’s book a chance! I think it can definitely be a useful tool in that regard because things really haven’t changed all that much. Humans are still the same.

Regrets

I see it the same way you do. Were it possible, I might go back in time and tell my younger self to do some things differently, but I would effectively be killing my current self and I love this bitch. It wasn’t always the case but now I think I’m actually kinda cool, I can see value in myself and I wouldn’t want to be someone else. All roads lead to home, some are just longer than others but in the grand scheme of things I don’t believe there is such a thing as wasted time.

but given how often people take advantage

Yeah, that is one thing that had made me grow a bit cold in the past, as a coping mechanism. Fortunately over the years I have learned to deal with these things a lot better. I can’t avoid abusers but I can recognize them and limit their impact on me. When I say abusers I don’t necessarily mean bad people either, although there have been some. Some people just don’t realize just how much of their pain I soak up when they dump their trauma on me and some would basically only use me for that but I let it happen. I think it is just as much my fault as it is theirs, I simply overestimated what I could handle. I might’ve also been able to handle much more when I was younger but then as I grew older that shit started weighing really heavily on me.

I hope you also hold it in check, so that you manage to meet your own needs as well

That is something I have only recently realized I had to do, for the sake of all my loved ones I need to prioritize myself.

You may not be a fan of Kendrick Lamar but his song “Mirror” off his latest album (Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers) resonated with me SO strongly. I get the most intense “frissons” whenever I listen to it. The entire album is an absolute masterpiece, as is everything he does in my opinion. It all builds up to “Mirror”, it might not be as impactful if you haven’t listened to the whole album but it still is.

I accomplish by giving in to my desires?

Absolutely, you need to do what you need to do to build a strong foundation for yourself. Only when you have that can you support others.

I thought mine was too but it is hard to navigate the storms of life and my sense of self is still tied up in the wrong things.:-( Then again, I will meditate on it and it becomes an opportunity to do better and grow… so that’s always a boon. Nobody enjoys those opportunities, but we do become so much better - less Monkey, more Mind - as a result:-).

Aw, that’s just part of the ups and downs of life. Just don’t let yourself fall too far down. Two steps forwards one step back is still one step forward. The last 2 days have been pretty shit for me in terms of mental health but at the same time I still realize that I am still doing MUCH better than I was just a month ago. It’s always a bit painful when your mood and mental health takes a bit of a dive but it helps to try and keep things in perspective.

Space timey wimy goodness It is indeed difficult to grasp hahah! I don’t think I’m able to see the exact picture you’ve written down. Kinda difficult with these things because they are so open to interperetation. The way I’m interpreting it right now is like whatever restrictions we feel we’re surrounded by simply act kind of like horse blinders? There are so many possibilities when we know nothing!

but is there any doubt that we are all “connected” nonetheless? Well, not in my mind. We can’t really do anything without affecting the rest of the world. Everything we do has an impact, no matter how insignificant it may seem, even something as trivial as a fart. The energy, the words, actions and possibly even thoughts that we put out in the world, none of it is lost. I feel like that is a power that most of us ignore these days. We are to focused on the “now” and the things we can physically see and touch.

Speaking of, I had already forgotten that beautiful perspective that you had shared with me about nations changing. Stuff at my job, weird weather, for a few days my exercise schedule has been interrupted and I am just “off”, and just like that it had already slipped through my fingers, again.

That is so relatable hahah. I think it’s normal and that we all have those moments but I also do not know what normal is. I think that’s where meditation and mindfulness can be really helpful. You sometimes must make a conscious effort to remind yourself of these things because the world we’ve built is just so overwhelming at times, it’s easy to get caught up in it and forget. It’s kind of like weightlifting for the mind/soul hahah. If you stop training you’re gonna lose all them gainz!

I guess I too am one of those who says one thing yet does the polar opposite, an “idiot” even. I like to think that these “idiots” don’t ever have these thoughts but what do I know, I may very well be an idiot myself. We probably all desire to know the truth but none of us seem to see the same thing, life is different for everyone. We are not given the same knowledge, everybody has a different piece of the truth (or truth™) that they build around.

So I am grateful that I care, and therefore… almost grateful for the pain that I lived through that made me care.

Well of course. You are the sum of your experiences and if you are at a point where you are happy with who you are, then you must appreciate the pain you’ve had to endure to get there.

I hope these thoughts are at least halfway entertaining:-D.

Absolutely! They have managed to take up an hour of what seemed to be the start of a pretty boring day.

She is absolutely the BEst biTCH!:-) (I really hope you take that as I meant it, in that I mean that you are awesome:-P)

Bahah no worries, literally everybody calls me that. Ok I lied, my parents don’t, but everybody else does!

And further along those lines, I hope that you take heart in that all of our relationships with our mothers are this way, it seems to me.

Yeah you may be right about that. These days however I am working towards being friends with my mother instead of just being her child and that has been kind of a healing experience.

She really hasn’t grown up in a religious family but still, everybody else around was. People were living and breathing in religion. My grandfather hated organized religion though. He stopped going to church very early in his life and never made his children attend which is kind of crazy for someone who grew up in the early 1900s. He saw religious people as sinners looking to be forgiven on Sunday just to start a whole new week of sinning. Dude was an absolute bad ass but he suffered from chronic depression his whole life. I really wish I had the chance to discuss with him more.

I am not really a “teacher” at all I think

Aw, yeah, I understand what you mean. Jobs tend to suck the life and soul out of everything though. You can still be a teacher and not be in the teaching profession but the helper label still has a nice ring to it! I feel the same way though. I have a hard time throwing my energy at someone who can’t be bothered to bounce that energy back at me. It is so exhausting.

YAAAASSSS QUEEN! Except… hrm, it will keep coming up, every few years and also rearing its ugly head.

Oh I know, but there is a point of diminishing return for time and energy spent on things like that and it comes on real quick. Just gotta realize when that happens and stop.

It is one of the most dangerous mindsets b/c it robs people of their agency Well, the way I see it, even if everything was predetermined, I still make all my decisions as if I do have agency because my brain is convinced that I do. The difference is that in the back of my head I’m not sure I really did have a choice so it’s not worth agonizing over too much. What is done is done. Regrets just serve to influence future decisions.

liken it to a mage/sorcerer type who learned some kind of arcane branch of magic, so while their buddies are going around doing all the cool, useful stuff like fireball, we basically got nothing to show for it, except that we happen to know (what might be, MAYBE) a deeper Truth.

Hahah I like that comparison. We will probably never know in our lifetimes either, and that’s ok. I have nothing impressive like fireballs to show but I know that people see something in me that I can’t put my finger on. It’s gonna sound like a weird brag but people fucking love me and I’ve never been able to figure out why. All my life I’ve never been able to go to any kind of gathering without having people just flock around me. I’ve always just kinda wanted to be left alone so at gatherings I would try to find a nice quiet corner and have maybe a couple close friends with me, but I would always end up being swarmed and overwhelmed. Maybe that’s my power, people magnet. I have no clue how I would use such a power but I feel I’m getting closer to figuring it out.

EDIT: I will be back for part two at a later time! I’m currently in the process of buying a house and becoming something that I hate, a landlady 🤢. I’m currently having a wild internal battle about this but no matter which way I look at it, I have to do it. Gonna get back to that for a bit but I will be back.

Be careful about wishing for capitalism to retire.

Oh I know hahah. I’m always careful for what I wish for. I might not always chose the right words to put down but in my head my wish is pretty clear and simple. I wouldn’t wanna be able to say exactly what it was though because then according to the rules of the universe and the wishing laws, it would never come true 🤪

I have little control over, so I don’t worry too much (hehe, that is an enormous lie just so you know:-P) Hah! Yeah I definitely relate to that hahah. I also try not to worry about things that are out of my hands but I still can’t stop thinking about it. I think I’m getting better at not really worrying and just accepting that I am just kind a visitor in this world. I find it to be relieving to not worry about things that are out of my reach, instead concentrating on the things that I can actually touch. However, I still constantly think about everything that is out of my reach, hoping that one day my reach extends either directly or indirectly through other people who I am in contact with. Stoicism is cute in theory but in practice I’m not sure it is, although I haven’t really spent more than a couple hours thinking about it and I have definitely not put it into practice. I tried reading Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations a long time ago but never actually managed to get that far into it.

Holy crap are you my soulmate? J/k - I don’t even believe in that Hahah yeah I don’t know about soul mates. I wish it was real but at this point in my life I’ve lost faith. Also fuck the downvotes, people who actually take time to downvote things that are harmless aren’t worth a second of your time. Not upvoting would end up doing the same thing but no, they have to downvote. It’s trash behaviour from sad people.

About fighting against instant messaging: fwiw, I know my limitations, and therefore work around them. I’m getting much better with it now, although I think it’s because my mental health has just been generally improving overall in the past couple months, making it easier for me to look through the fog at the things that are actually hurting me.

And if it helps to hear from the other side, I would hate to be the cause of any pain for you. Though I am dumb as shit

Aw hahah don’t say that, but I do understand what you mean as I am also dumb as shit. Oops, I said it too. I also believe that everybody has some kind of intelligence and wish more people could see that. Even someone who appears to be dumb as bricks will probably know way more than you in many areas. There’s just so much knowledge to be amassed out there and everybody picks up different bits. Thinking that someone is just 100% stupid and doesn’t know anything just shows a lack of insight or understanding.

Rest easy:-P. Until it is time to rise again:-).

I have! I’ve been feeling too good to stay cooped up at home these past couple days. I guess I haven’t really been resting but the change of scenery has been really nice.

I’m sure one day they’re going to be selling those user created levels back to the users who originally created them.

I will say this again down below but I like it so much that I want to repeat it to start out with as well, if you do not mind: Thank you for your kind words:-).

Hey! Right back at you, friend!

I tend to think of ADHD & autism as more chemical, whereas for me it is my trauma and decisions that have created this.

Yeah they are very difficult to tell apart. Most of my traumas come from the fact that I was different, without understanding that I was different. I tried so hard to not be different my whole life that I’ve ended up with damage that I’m not sure I will ever be able to completely fix. Most of the symptoms that I display that stem from trauma would be indistinguishable from a neurotypical person with similar traumas.

Moreover, I think everything that is an advantage is also a disadvantage, and vice versa. It is like the game rock-paper-scissors: nothing is “best”, only good in certain contexts, but you never know what the next round will bring.

That is also how I see it. It’s actually such a beautiful thing too. You can’t have anything if you don’t have balance. I don’t believe that there is a “wrong” kind of person, just maybe someone who is not suited for the current task at hand. It doesn’t mean that they are useless. In a capitalistic society, yeah maybe but I’d rather argue that capitalism is useless (I don’t think it is but I do think it’s time for it to retire) than a person.

The ability to “shut out the world” and just CREATE - it can literally change the world, and also at the same time get you fired.

Yeah it is a double-edged sword for sure. It feels like a crippling superpower at times. Yes I can concentrate on a project for 24 hours straight, but I also can’t feed myself during that time, I can’t do anything but what’s right in front of me. But still, I am also very proud to be neurodivergent. I wish I had known more about it earlier, but maybe I wouldn’t have taken it the same way if I learned about it earlier, who knows.

I’ve said this to others too, and I will say it again: I prefer thoughtful replies. I reply to enough common stuff all across the Fediverse that I’m solid on the “banter”

I agree, but banter also serves to open the door to potentially thoughtful replies. I basically use it as a feeler, kind of like a “Hey how’s it goin’” or “Hey, nice weather!”. Funny how I only really learned what the purpose of that was a couple years ago. Sometimes you send out a quick quip and someone sends one right back that shows a “compatible thought-process”. Also I just really enjoy saying stupid silly shit.

And I believe you about the trauma causing you to feel “anxiety” for not responding sooner. I… well let’s just say that I ABSOLUTELY understand that (yes, you guessed it: I am the same way, and like you I fight that).

Yeah it’s tough to fight it. Especially when you grew with with instant messaging. I’ve basically been in front of a computer with all my instant messengers opened at all times and now I regret it so much. I don’t want to be accessible 24/7, I mean I kinda do but really I can’t. It leaves you no time for you and in the end you can’t be there for anyone if you’re not there for yourself. I wish I had realized that sooner.

Thank you for your kind words:-).

💜💜💜💜