Hell yeah.

Next question.

What’s it like to not have seen or heard a current joke in thirty years?

An objectively peer-reviewed hyperbole.

No, but they’re objectively the best pet. Basically a walking plant who’s bffs with a hole in the ground and hunts crickets by staying absolutely still until it’s not.

It’s pronounced however you want, baby.

As a general rule, all 'C’s should make a ‘Ch’ sound and leave ‘S’ and ‘K’ the fuck alone.

When was the right week?

Imagine if both parents could nurse, that would be awesome. Don’t have to prep the titty juice and remember it every time mom’s not around.

Sustain us with your cheese.

Mowed lawns. Just let it grow, it’s easier and healthier.

This is literal and an innuendo.

Says fat people promote unhealthy lifestyles. Gif: An obese chick getting exercise while playing an instrument that takes considerable muscle control and a high lung capacity.

Damn. Lot of people really hate fat folks. I’m just saying you want to prove fat people are unhealthy— a woman in a career that takes a high level of stamina and discipline isn’t a great example.

I say this as someone who’s been involved in cryptocurrency, in some way, for almost a decade: Do not look at it as a source of income. That’s my warning.

Most money I’ve made off crypto was by accepting it as a source of payment for freelance work, and selling when the price went up. I’ve made only one lucrative investment on a token and it’s because the developer team was a friend of a friend, I only spent the money I could easily afford and pulled out early, once it tripled. Don’t fall for FOMO, even if you could have made more money.

If you go forward, stick with media put out by the major, legitimate exchanges. They have a lot of information on how to get started.

Stay away from crypto-bro hype schemes, do not buy/trade anything from any project/company that isn’t legitimate, with a strong social media presence and a community.

You can make good money off pump schemes if you’re in their communities and keep a close watch on what they’re doing.

Sign up for airdrops of new tokens and coins, shit you can get for free just by joining/signing up for something. A lot of times it’s trash you’ll never get rid of, sometimes it’s free money.

I’ve been using metamask as a wallet for years, it’s one of the most accessible platforms and has a lot of information and support on how to use it.

For the love of god do not look to NFTs as an investment.

Never, ever, spend money you can’t afford to lose.

A dating app.

Track which people have contagious diseases and subtly push them toward others. Use GPS, biometric data and consumer profiles. Program bot accounts to set up dates with real people in public places, the hookups are fake, but they just need to be in the vicinity.

Once a sustantial data pool has been filled and patterns have been established, begin intentionally infecting the swingiest people on the app with a custom virus. Create a matchmaker algorithm based on the data to see how far and wide it can spread.

Call the app: Cuntagion.

Wattpad, Smashwords, and AO3 come to mind for online writing/publishing platforms.

Our list of gang affiliated clothing was so long the teachers couldn’t remember what to enforce. They didn’t dress code anyone because they’d have to start following the rules for everyone.

It included: bandanas, slouchy toques, white tank tops, black hoodies, red or blue hats, and red or blue shirts.

Fun fact: The school sports teams wore black hoodies with gold logos.

Grade one detention. Yelling at another kid for reading over my shoulder during quiet time after I quietly, repeatedly asked him to stop.

I’m in my 30’s now and you can still get FUCKED Mrs. Williams. You can eat a dick too, Patrick. Get your own fucking book.

This is called a ‘Hyperbole.’

I didn’t realize I was giving fascists a reason not to stop being fascists.

that’s super weird and also I think fascist somehow

It’s a toy. A succulent little toy.

I’m not able to go vegan. Crickets are a pretty low impact animal protein product, and I don’t find it any harder to work cricket flour into recipes than I did trying to make things vegan. I actually like cricket stew, crackers, and cookies.

Could be good for pets, too, if obligate carnivores/omnivores can get the same nutrition from more environmentally friendly sources.

For background, I was vegetarian for about a year before both a doctor and a nutritionist confirmed it was why I felt sick, tired, and in a fog most of the time.