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Cake day: July 1st, 2023

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  • I did a summer contract in forestry, up north, in the mountains, middle of nowhere. We had to get into an area that was beyond a pipeline blockade - meaning a group of indigenous leaders were blocking a pipeline from being built on their land.

    The higher ups negotiated with them while we spent days off gaining bad reputations in town.

    When we were allowed through, they welcomed us individually and explained their reasons for being cautious. They told us that people dressed as (or actually were) cops tried to convince them they were on public land and force them to leave, they had people pretending to be blockade protesters who came in and tried to burn down their buildings, they had people blow up their signs, they had helicopters drop off equipment and workers beyond the blockade in the night. Taking all this with a heavy pinch of salt, we got through to work.

    Not an hour after we started, black goddamn helicopters showed up. About ten of them. They hung out all the first day, there were fewer the second and only one for the next two. And they were low, I could feel the wind from the rotors at times.

    I don’t know why. We discussed it over plenty of drinks without coming to any good conclusions. I don’t know if they thought we were with the blockade and wanted to intimidate us, or why the pipeline people didn’t talk to the forestry people to figure out we were just labourers. As it turns out that kind of thing does happen in real life.

    A bunch of us took big shits in the open where they could watch.



  • I can’t give medical advice, I mean I can but I won’t. Anyway, I was a professional chef who worked in three very different locations before leaving the pirate kitchen life of sodomy.

    What’s affordable is going to depend on where you are, so buy in-season fruits and vegetables. Try different recipes using things you know you can afford and when something clicks for you, write it down. Keep a list of the healthy meals and snacks that are easy for you to make because the hungry brain has no past or future. Aggressively mid foods like beans, peas, potatoes, barley and peanut butter are cheap and no one will care if you steal them.

    If you’re a shit cook find some videos and follow along or ask a friend to walk you through some recipes if you have one.

    Keep heathy, craving satisfying food on hand. Make a batch of nut balls (nut butter mixed with seeds, dried berries and whatever) and keep them in the freezer. Have lots of different tea on hand if that’s your thing, popcorn is filling and low calorie. My go-tos are: hard boiled egg, or a baked potato, or a bowl of peas. Don’t knock a bowl of peas until you try it after a joint, mixed with coconut oil, salt, pepper and cayenne.

    Try smoothies. One of my faves is almond milk, spinach, lime juice, cashew or hemp butter, banana, pinch of salt. Blending up greens is a great way to stuff them in and they’re low calorie by volume. What’s great is I can pre-portion all of those ingredients except the almond milk into containers and freeze them. Then making a smoothie is as simple as dumping the frozen brick in a blender with some liquid.

    Grocery store prices can vary by day, sales usually go on before they get in a new order and need to clear the shelves. Figure that out and only buy meat in bulk on sale or wait by the dumpster at night. Make a big batch of something like curry, chili or stew with it and freeze in portions anything you won’t eat in the next few days.

    There is no shame in using low-income grocery options to get healthy food you can’t otherwise afford. See if there are any in your area. I have friends on disability who get a box of fresh fruit and vegetables every week, food that’s perfectly good but would otherwise be thrown out because of our high beauty standards for crops.






  • Sorry about that, it’s the internet. I’m not a doctor, but it was explained to me that proteins from different sources are not all the same and, while I can process protein from a variety of foods, I don’t do it as efficiently as with muscle proteins. The nutritionist I spoke to - who was a vegan and a vegan activist - said people like me need about 1-2 chicken breasts per week. It’s not uncommon, a lot of people who try to go veggie and can’t hack it just go back to meat without trying to figure out why they felt sick and tired. Other people have said it’s genetic based on your ancestors, but I haven’t seen a lot of evidence to support that. Other sources point to evidence you can alter the way your body processes things by following specific diet plans, but I’m not prepared to feel that shitty again to figure it out.



  • Where I live the beef is local and cheap. I’m not able to obtain enough protein without meat, as confirmed by a doctor and a nutritionist when I tried to go vegetarian. With food costs so high it’s cheaper to buy cow than anything else, but when I have the money I opt for fish or turkey. I looked into hunting but it’s prohibitively expensive for me with permits, tags, guns, licenses, days off and transportation. I tried fishing for myself as well, but whenever I get time to do it, there are warnings about eating fish in the area. When there aren’t I never catch anything big enough to legally be allowed to keep. I’d like to get chickens if/when local government ever lifts the bylaws preventing it.


  • Instructions Unclear: I forgave my landlord for reno-victing me, forgave the supermarket chains that price-fixed groceries which put me in debt. I was careful not to buy products which contribute to wars and inequality, even though it was harder and more expensive. Now I’m living the simple life by meditating under a bridge, but it’s cold down here and the politicians are arguing over whether they should be able to kick me out and throw away my things. The only shelter with room available requires me to worship their god.