Poison Ivy

My wife: “At least it’s not ketchup.”

I had a T-shirt with a toaster that had flame decals and just the word toast underneath. People kept asking me what it meant, as if there was a secret meaning to warm bread.

I unsubscribed when they had an article about how rimming isn’t unsanitary and how to do it properly. I cannot describe how grossed out I was.

“Wannabe Florida man from New York…”