Promise? 🥺

Boots with the purr 😻

Rejoice! She brought protection!

The only way that you effectively oppose the other

You can always vote third party if you want to pay lip service while helping the candidate you dislike

NTBDBIWDFTA

I’ll have you know that there are several states that no longer practice slavery, thank you very much! XD

Memes and genes!

Hubris

Spiders are the bugs I have a problem with XD

(Preemptive) Stow your prescriptivist semantics, pendants! Spiders are bugs because I say so

I’m a sucker for fruity pebbles (I actually prefer the malt-o-meal bag version)

Breakfast cereal

My wife and I both agree that it’s a dessert, not a food XD

Nothing like “possible” “consequences” for abuse of power

Whoops!

Be sure to have it scanned for a chip!

“He’s” is a pronoun ya big dumb bitch

Windows 10 is increasingly encouraging me to recommend other operating systems to friends and colleagues

My wife and I like to call saxophones “sexy trumpets”

I get that feeling, I have a long-haired orange cat and we constantly have to cut mats out of his armpits XD