They couldn’t make Mrs Doubtfire in this day & age - no one would believe Pierce Brosnan and Sally Field make enough money to afford a live-in nanny.

Also, they couldn’t make Mrs. Doubtfire 2. Full stop. There will never be a sequel to that magnificent gem.

Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don’t work

“Can I be frank with you?”

“Sure! You be Frank and I’ll be Ernest”

Fell asleep on the TTC (Toronto subway) one time while we were travelling along a particularly old part of the tunnels.

I was dozing and staying kind of peripherally aware of my surroundings. Late at night, old model of subway car. One or two people at the other end of the car, in one of the cars far down the line away from the driver, second or third from the rear car.

Going through a section of tunnel, in the dark between one light and the next, I suddenly felt… surrounded. My eyes were closed, and for a second or two I distinctly felt the sensation of hands. All over my body, like I was passing through a crowd of people all grabbing at my arms, my legs, my hair. Cold, like holding your hands in your armpits on a winter day when you forget your gloves. Reaching, grasping like pickpockets. Desperate somehow, like the eyes of a scared animal.

The sensation fled as swiftly as it arrived, either a result of passing beyond an area of influence, or a symptom of leaving a particular state of mind. I opened my eyes, and it was gone.

I don’t know how many lost souls search for answers along those tracks, hoping for relief, warmth, company, safety. I’ve seen many homeless folk that catch a few minutes of sleep on those cars late at night; I wonder how many others travel unseen.

I never fell asleep on the subway again.

One of the trickiest things about Reddit (and social media in general) for me is the homogenization of tone. Each comment is an individual person, a unique voice & perspective, accents from around the world, but the medium of text, combined with the listing of comments leading to consumption of dozens/hundreds/thousands of viewpoints, leads to a blurring and obscuring of the uniqueness of each commenter.

These comments, they feel like a consistent person - I think that’s part of what people are talking about when they refer to the “hive mind”. These highly upvoted expert opinions, they begin to slot into the “trusted authoritative voice” in your mental categorization, regardless of whether they’re actually experts or not. The wisdom of the crowd, the inclination to trust the source of those upvotes, it’s pernicious.

I didn’t think I could last without Reddit after July 1st, but the truth is I’m fucking thriving. I really only ever lurked on Reddit, wasn’t much of an active commenter, and the continual absorption of fairly minor amounts of toxicity and negativity was exhausting. Relying on my own voice, my own perspective, it’s important. When the power goes out and your phone dies, when the world turns mad around you, when all seems hopeless, there you are. No matter where you go, there you are. Yes, it might be true that everyone on Reddit seems to be miserable. That’s their choice, it doesn’t have to be yours

Unfair. Moral character has nothing to do with raw talent and skill - if shitting in a bathtub so hard you damage hotel property isn’t explicitly banned in the rule book, and the people running the contest haven’t found a method to effectively drug test their athletes for anal bead usage, then I think he should get to keep his title.

After all, there’s no rule saying dogs can’t play basketball

“ I used to work in a sheet metal factory, but then, a job came along at the tannery. The hours were better, and I would get paid. Also I would get the chance to work with leather both before and after it was on the cow, which had always been a dream of mine. I didn’t want to give up my sheet metal job, so I tried to do both jobs and finish middle school.”

“How old were you?”

“Eleven. The point is, I was so tired I tried to punch through 8 gauge aluminum with a leather awl.” laughs

“Wow.”

“I learned a lesson. Never half ass two things. Whole ass one thing. So if you want to win that seat-“

“Which I do.”

“Then commit yourself 100%. Take a sabbatical.”

I’ve tried making lists, but they end up becoming a problem when it comes time to pick one thing to focus on. Eventually you just need to whole ass one thing.

And it turns out that’s the opposite of anxiety, for me at least. The opposite of anxiety isn’t calm, or peace - it’s focus. My advice would be to focus, on one or two things at a time.

Right now, you’re laid up in bed. Your body is hard at work on healing, so give your mind a break - try watching something that makes you laugh. Focus on laughing, and finding joy in these quiet moments. You have a perfect excuse to take some time for yourself. Drink lots of fluids (beer is a very good fluid). Eat good food. Get good sleep. Focus on that.

In no particular order, I would recommend watching the Office, Parks and Rec, the Good Place, Community, Wilfred, Adventures of Todd Margaret, Last Man On Earth, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency, What We Do In The Shadows, or Our Flag Means Death