If you are tense and emotionally uncomfortable and/or the doctor is rough or rushed or just uncaring = it can be a bad experience.
Generally speaking the speculum is not comfortable but not painful. It is there so they can use a swab to get a sample from the woman’s cervix to check for abnormal/cancer cells. Some women don’t even feel the swab and others find it painful - most feel it but don’t find it particularly painful. If they do find problematic cells they cut a little bit off the cervix for testing.
I have always had nice doctors - when I was younger I felt a little weirded out - but never uncomfortable or in any pain. Until I had a cervical biopsy- which did hurt and left me cramping for a bit. But it hurt at around the level it hurts to get stuck with a needle when you give blood. Yes, it hurt - but not severe.
It’s just much much more scary to hurt in a sensitive area then it is to hurt on, say, your arm.
I mean this is easy - start intentionally going to places where “looking good” isn’t the organizing principle.
Find a hobby - hiking, gardening, books, pets. Hang out with people who value and are interested in things you value and are interested in. If you have something interesting to say and someone is interested- suddenly you have a much more interesting connection than “he thinks I’m hot”.
It seems great to have people treat you well because you are pretty - but in reality it means they don’t give two shits about who you are or what you think and will be dishonest with you to try to get in your pants.
Most pretty women really suffer when they get older and lose that “free pass” because the only social skill they ever learned was “look good”. If you learn to really listen and care about others, to be a good friend, to make people laugh - learn how to be an appealing person in a way that has nothing to do with looks. It will give you a much much more satisfying life for much much longer.