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SeeMinusMinus@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.worldEnglish ·
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2 年前

Hello lemmies. How do I hide the body of a white male that is ~185lb and ~6 feet tall within 5 hours? No reason just wondering.

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Hello lemmies. How do I hide the body of a white male that is ~185lb and ~6 feet tall within 5 hours? No reason just wondering.

SeeMinusMinus@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.worldEnglish ·
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2 年前
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  • Lettuce eat lettuce@lemmy.ml
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    2 年前

    Take it to the police and ask them. They have a lot of experience with that sort of thing and will be able to give you a super quick response.

  • Ace T'Ken@lemmy.ca
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    2 年前

    Just eat it. The whole thing. One sitting.

    • totallynotarobot@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      No wine pairing or side dish recommendations? Low effort comment smh

      • OldFartPhil@lemm.ee
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        2 年前

        Fava beans and a nice Chianti. Everyone knows that, so it goes without saying.

  • xigoi@lemmy.sdf.org
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    2 年前

    Paint the body black, then follow the usual instructions for hiding the body of a black male.

    • bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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      2 年前

      Find a garage labelled “Dead N***** Storage”

      • Electric_Druid@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        I understand the reference, but this isn’t something you just say, man.

      • Technoguyfication@lemmy.ml
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        2 年前

        Wow, do this many people really not get the reference? I thought it was funny

  • Grammaton Cleric@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    Call 911, forensics will deal with that for ya 😉

    • body_by_make@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 年前

      Be warned, they only take the body, you gotta hire a company for the rest of the mess.

  • Jordan117@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    “First, be smart from the very beginning…”

    • prenatal_confusion@lemmy.one
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      2 年前

      The fuck … But also very interesting

    • Doofus Magoo@sh.itjust.works
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      2 年前

      The legend of scarabic lives on.

  • arthurpizza@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    Disguise the body with a fake mustace, nose, and glasses. Now you got a carpool buddy.

  • collegefurtrader@discuss.tchncs.de
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    2 年前

    Gonna need a rug and some moving dollys

  • Especially_the_lies@startrek.website
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    2 年前

    Woodchipper. Just be sure to do it in the middle of the night when it’s impossible for anyone to hear you because they’re sleeping.

    • Jeredin@lemm.ee
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      2 年前

      Hide it near a police station - who’d ever check near a police station? But make sure it’s very close to it - closer the better; it’s like a spit in their face.

      • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml
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        2 年前

        What if they smell it

        • prenatal_confusion@lemmy.one
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          2 年前

          My spit doesn’t smell that bad.

  • Jimmycakes@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    Be mindful of a pig farmer

    • satanmat@lemmy.world
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      2 年前

      Only if the pigs have been starving for a few days….

  • Clent@lemmy.world
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    2 年前

    How long do you need to hide it for?

    A locking chest freezer has proven handy for me in the past.

    • ᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴏʀ 帝@feddit.uk
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      2 年前

      I think they need to hide a whole body, not just the chest.

      • Clent@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        You’re right. This is really lacking details.

        How white is the guy?

        There is an old documentary called Weekend at Bernie’s that deals with this in a very overt manner. Might be worth checking out.

        • ᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴏʀ 帝@feddit.uk
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          2 年前

          Of course, Weekend at Bernie’s it - hide the body in plain sight. As long as it’s not too hot you’ve got a few days to work on a proper plan.

  • HakFoo@lemmy.sdf.org
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    2 年前

    Paint him brown or black. Nobody will bother to look, and if someone finds him, odds are great that they’ll find some gussied up excuse that he had it coming.

  • ᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴏʀ 帝@feddit.uk
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    2 年前

    The old classics - remove the teeth, hands and any medical implants and find:

    • somewhere they are pouring fresh concrete; or
    • a newly dug grave awaiting a burial in the morning;
    • slice open their gut and dump the weighted corpse out into deep water.

    Then come back and tell us all about it.

    • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml
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      2 年前

      That concrete idea is genius. Has it proven effective in the past?

      • pixeltree@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        The smell will permeate. Mythbusters tried it with pig carcasses.

      • Crackhappy@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        Only if they’re not a three thousand year old vampire. In that case YMMV.

      • ᴇᴍᴘᴇʀᴏʀ 帝@feddit.uk
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        2 年前

        I don’t think it has ever been proved.

        So, for example, the Krays were at their height atvthe same time there was a lot of road building in London, and people have suggested bodies went into the Chiswick Flyover:

        There were rumours that victims of the Kray brothers, including Ginger Marks who shot Jack “The Hat” McVitie, were interred among the 100-tonne concrete support columns.

        And the Bow Flyover:

        The Bow Flyover in East London where legend has it that the body of Frank ‘the Mad Axeman’ Mitchell, one of the twins’ victims, is buried in the concrete.

        In fact, Jack “the Hat” McVitie may have suffered a similar fate:

        Reggie stabbed Jack the Hat McVitie and the body was buried in the concrete foundations of a supermarket.

        The problem I’d you’d need to demolish any structures to discover the truth, although given the age of them, some are being taken down these days so… Similar rumours emerged during the demolition of a bridge near Glasgow:

        THE Kingston Bridge may give up a grisly 30-year-old secret in the next few weeks - the bodies of murdered criminals.

        The bridge is widely believed to be a concrete tomb for several notorious gangsters who disappeared mysteriously in the late 60s.

        Glasgow godfather Arthur Thompson, who died six years ago, is said to have ordered them killed and disposed of in the concrete piers of the bridge while it was under construction.

        Now the piers are to be broken up and the truth might finally come to light, including the solution to the mystery of Archie McGeachy, who was 22 when he vanished from his Govanhill home in 1969.

        Jack “the Hat” McVitie is still unaccounted for but there are other suggestions about his final resting place:

        The body was never recovered, although in an interview in 2000 (which featured Reggie Kray giving a frank account of the activity of the Firm twelve days before his death) Freddie Foreman admitted to throwing McVitie’s body from a boat into the sea at Newhaven, Sussex, although he was also reported to have been buried in a newly dug grave at Gravesend Cemetery in Kent.

        Which takes us neatly back to the other suggestion - in a newly dug grave.

        However, one of the people at the murder has confirmed McVitie was dumped at sea, even if the longer journey carried the risk of discovery, as described by Chris Lambrianou.

        Also the police found a body under the patio at the home of an associate of the Krays. So the means of body disposal was likely pretty crude and simple.

      • ladyofthrowaway@lemmy.world
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        2 年前

        It didn’t work out well in this case

  • JohnDClay@sh.itjust.works
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    2 年前

    From all the times this is asked on Reddit, apparently you put yogurt up the bum

    • wahming@monyet.cc
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      2 年前

      No! That’s how you get liquid ass!

  • pastermil@sh.itjust.works
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    2 年前

    Who did you kill this time?

    • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml
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      2 年前

      Sounds like it’s getting brutal over there on lemmy.world

  • SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml
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    2 年前

    Got a spare car? Hide it in the back and take it to a scrapyard. They tend to have some nice shredders

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