To this day, she remembers the racing thoughts, the instant nausea, the hairs prickling up on her legs, the sweaty palms. She had shared a photograph of herself in her underwear with a boy she trusted and, very soon, it had been sent around the school and across her small home town, Aberystwyth, Wales. She became a local celebrity for all the wrong reasons. Younger kids would approach her laughing and ask for a hug. Members of the men’s football team saw it – and one showed someone who knew Davies’s nan, so that’s how her family found out.

Her book, No One Wants to See Your D*ck, takes a deep dive into the negatives. It covers Davies’s experiences in the digital world – that includes cyberflashing such as all those unsolicited dick pics – as well as the widespread use of her images on pornography sites, escort services, dating apps, sex chats (“Ready for Rape? Role play now!” with her picture alongside it). However, the book also shines a light on the dark online men’s spaces, what they’re saying, the “games” they’re playing. “I wanted to show the reality of what men are doing,” says Davies. “People will say: ‘It’s not all men’ and no, it isn’t, but it also isn’t a small number of weirdos on the dark web in their mum’s basements. These are forums with millions of members on mainstream sites such as Reddit, Discord and 4chan. These are men writing about their wives, their mums, their mate’s daughter, exchanging images, sharing women’s names, socials and contact details, and no one – not one man – is calling them out. They’re patting each other on the back.”

  • Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works
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    4 days ago

    Any decent man who has spent enough time in locker rooms understands that ~30% of men are shitty people and of those, somewhere around half are probably violent.

    Once you have a daughter or put youraself in womens shoes, you realize how terrifying those odds are for women trying to navigate this world.

    • Lucky_777@lemmy.world
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      4 days ago

      This is 100% correct. I have 4 daughters myself and an amazing wife. I see it almost daily. In the current landscape, it’s even harder. My older female family members don’t even care. They “got theirs” and could give a shit about women growing up in this world.

      I will always defend women, and I patiently wait for the day a woman in my presence gets disrespected by some Chad, Andrew Tate loving motherfucker.

      I’m here for all my human sisters, as we should all be equal on this planet. Fuck these men with no morals and no human equality compass. Scared of something they don’t understand or what incels tell them to act like. Its madness and makes me sick.

    • drascus@sh.itjust.works
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      4 days ago

      God I hate that you are right. I only have like one male friend because I legit had to distance myself from ao many other male friends who were just horrible people and I couldn’t stand to listen to them anymore.

      • Shou@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        Similar experience. Had a best friend who kept saying more and more misogynistic bs. After he said: “I could rape you, yoo know. And you wouldn’t be able to stop me.”

        Over time, I made a munch of male friends who are awesome. Nothing beats binge watching the Owlhouse with the bro’s. Or a drunk pillow fight. Or a boat trip. They are fun. One friend is the kindest, humblest dude I ever met. I view him as a role model if anything. I’m also friends with a war veteran, and he is a kind guy who loves to train dogs and people.

        It’s hard to find these people though. Most men don’t want friendships with women. They just fuckzone em.

    • sudneo@lemm.ee
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      4 days ago

      What places do you go? My pool is super chill, I have seen all kind of uplifting moments. Maybe certain gyms have a selection bias? I don’t know.

        • metaldream@sopuli.xyz
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          3 days ago

          I played hockey in high school and that was my experience too. Insanely toxic attitudes towards women. Yet we elevate these assholes because at least in the US we still value athletics in men more than anything else.

        • Echofox@lemmy.ca
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          3 days ago

          I got beat and blooded multiple times in highschool locker rooms. I’d estimate a lot higher than 30% of people are the issue.

        • sudneo@lemm.ee
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          4 days ago

          Oh, I guess different school systems, so that didn’t even come to mind to me. At least in my country high school is from 15 to 19, I think lots of people thankfully mature and change after teenage years.

    • rollerbang@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      That just seems… Insane? My experience certainly doesn’t reflect this. But I never do averages based on a sample size of one.

      • HelixDab2@lemm.ee
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        3 days ago

        My experience certainly does.

        I’ve worked with some really great people. But maybe 1 in 5 or so was a loudmouthed shitbag, and when you called them on being shitty, they either threatened you, or acted like it was all a joke or a big misunderstanding, and you were at fault for being upset, etc. I can’t guarantee that the shitty people I’ve known have harassed women, but the probability seems high.

      • LandedGentry@lemmy.zip
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        3 days ago

        You aren’t a shitty person so you’re less likely to be around shitty people, just like you’re more likely to be around people roughly your age on a daily basis and not around the elderly despite their sizable population.

        1 in 7 people roughly are Chinese, but that doesn’t mean 1 in 7 people I interact with daily are Chinese.