I’m a 54-year-old man, recently separated from my wife of 31 years - just earlier this month. Honestly, I’m already feeling bored and lonely, so I’ve been considering trying out dating apps (I’ve never used one before). However, my sons (30 and 28) tell me it’s a waste of time and possibly even a scam, and I’ve seen similar opinions online. So I’m not sure what to think.
They used to be better. I had a lot of success when they were relatively new. However the culture around them has gotten worse and more toxic, and the companies have grown more abusive of customers. Just what I gather… I haven’t tried since 2019.
Tinder was okay for meeting people interested in actual relationships when it was newer. It seemed to turn into more of purely a shallow hookup site. I tried Bumble, and that worked, though it apparently is not as good as it used to be. Never tried Hinge or any of the others.
Thinking more about psychology helped me have success on the apps. Don’t be boring, start real conversations. I got some very good advice once from a friend, which was “if a girl is on tinder, she’s horny”. I was… oh. That makes sense. It helped me be less nervous. You could also say lonely or bored. In my experience it’s not hard to figure out if someone is after the same things as you are. I’ve never used them to just hookup, only find steady girlfriends. I did find some situations more like hookups, casual GFs or FWB though. A few dates fizzled. I’ve gotten together with about 15 women I met on Tinder/Bumble and 6 of them turned into steady relationships. I can’t say they were the most sane people I’ve ever met.