Fewer young adults are achieving economic and family milestones typically associated with adulthood, according to a recent working paper from the U.S. Census Bureau.
According to the working paper, “Changes in Milestones of Adulthood,” almost half of all young adults in 1975 had reached four milestones associated with adulthood: moving out of one’s parents’ home, getting a job, getting married and having a child.
Five decades on, that progression has changed dramatically. The share of young adults that have followed the traditional pathway to adulthood has dropped to less than a quarter, according to the paper.
Getting married and having a child is not a milestone of adulthood. Being in a healthy relationship is though. You don’t need to be married and have a child to be in a long term healthy relationship.
Kids and a wedding ring are quantitative things they can measure externally. I bet, back when this list was first pulled out of someone’s ass, that was all they thought about whether a relationship was happy or not.
We know better, now.
My dad had those 4 things, too, and then one day his wife left him. If we measure ‘success’ against this criteria, he’s failed. I can see how this mindset makes one reluctant to leave a marriage or not have kids, and I can see the pressure of competing with the “Joneses” can be a stressor.
I’m glad we know better. A divorce is not failure: it’s harm reduction. No kids is not a failure: it’s a decision about finances and goals.
I get that some people - false consensus or not - think that everyone generally wants kids etc, but grading people on how they measure up to the Cunninghams is simply unfair.
And we could do with a lower birthrate anyway, once we find how to do so without ruining our economy.