I have an honest followup question to this meme (because I lived it): how long do you expect the girlfriend to stay?
At age 23 I was in a great relationship, we were in love, then I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. I stopped being able to do physical things, I dropped out of school, I was bedridden. She went from being my girlfriend to being my nurse. She cared for me for a year, one long miserable year, then she left.
Is she at fault for leaving?
I try to go around life believing that nobody owes me anything in any way shape or form. Thus, I should be thankful for anything that I have.
She gave you a year, then she decided to leave. Technically, that makes it her fault. But exactly what does determining this accomplish for anyone or anything? Life will just randomly kick the shit out of you and tear you a new one. We all have to adapt and survive and negotiate. If that means leaving an optional strenuous situation, then that’s what has to happen. It’s life.
My problem isn’t necessarily with her leaving. Assuming she left with tact. Which I doubt.
But the audacity to leave someone and then feel entitled to thier time when it suits you, is insane.
What happens if he gets sick again, will she again leave? Will she come back when he’s better? How many times is she entitled to this cycle?
This person needs therapy, she is outrageously selfish.
It’s not so black and white. It really depends. There needs to be communication between both parties.
It’s perfectly fine if one person says, “I can’t do this. I can’t go through with this.” Asking someone to stay by you until you die, or to carry the burden of your disability or sickness is a lot. If there’s a conversation held about it and one person wants out then it’s fine.
One person simply leaving the moment it’s announced is a bit much though, especially if they decide to come back. As someone else said, it’s called having tact.
Dunno, man. Its hard to say. When you marry you take vows. Breaking those vows is a massive no-no in my eyes.
Unmarried couples have never vowed to take care of each other in sickness and in health. On those grounds, I think its fair to say that leaving is not unethical. Doesn’t change the fact that its absolutely devastating and worthy of scrutiny regardless.
Sorry you had to go through that.
A fancy ceremony doesn’t change how people feel about the other person, nor the level of obligations they actually have (emotionally, financially it can get complicated). If you’re unhappy and they reason cannot be changed (like chronic illness requiring significant care) then you fucking leave if that’s what you want. Staying only creates two miserable people instead of one, and your partner will definitely understand even if it hurts.
A fancy ceremony doesn’t change how people feel about the other person, nor the level of obligations they actually have
You literally take an oath at the ceremony vowing to uphold an extremely high level of obligations to another person.
If you’re making vows at a wedding ceremony that you feel you can just nope out on if shit hits the fan, why are you getting married? What is the point?
I agree. The wedding shouldn’t change how you feel about the other person because you should already be 100% dedicated if you’re thinking of getting married.
I made a vow to my wife when we got married to care for her in sickness and in health. I do not care what happens in life, I would never abandon her. Period. That is the burden of the vow I made. In my mind my personal integrity is foundationally attached to it.
If you’re comfortable with abandoning a spouse over health issues, the marriage was a sham from the get go. Like, what are you doing at the ceremony? Making vows with your fingers crossed behind your back? 🤞🤞🤞
A lot of people in the current culture we live in do not place any value on their word or honor. I don’t really blame people for this since the system we live in almost exclusively rewards exactly the opposite behavior.
But it does make it very hard to communicate with people when you don’t have the same vocabulary.
It seems like you and I believe a vow is something that you make and would hold yourself to regardless of circumstance. But the nature of our capitalistic society teaches us from very young age that if it will improve your standing, your finances, or your situation in some way, then it is okay to break your personal code.
With that rambling paragraph in mind, it’s not surprising when we find out that most folks don’t have a personal code and vows mean nothing more than a pinky swear.
Plenty of people before 2025 divorced for any number of reasons.
Plenty of people straight up murdered their spouse because divorce wasn’t an option.
Saying “people in the current culture we live in do not place any value on their word or honor” means you have no idea how people in the past lived.
People are today as they have always been, just with different gadgets and environment.
I didn’t say anything about a divorce or murder. Maybe I was bad at getting my point across.
The point I’m attempting to make is that putting value on your word, and by association giving extra value to a vow over another type of promise, is a lesser respected or necessary part of being a human in the late stage capitalist society that we live in.
This can be evidenced by people saying that a vow can easily be broken if the circumstances change.
That is not what a vow means.
My point is that it hasn’t changed. People have always been people.
We’re 100% on the same page.
You’re not understanding what I’m saying…whether or not you want to leave your partner when things go wrong is entirely independent of marriage. You don’t stay because you got married and now it’s just too bad, you stay because you love them. Marriage should be exactly zero percent of why you choose to stay. Staying with your partner, not because you want to but because you feel obligated, is just demeaning to them and cruel.
Good question, I’ll get back to you in a year
fault?, gf no if a wife yes
but regardless a shit human being
Hey, person in the meme, if you read this, just tell him the truth, i’m sure he will appreciate it and be back together with you. You’re welcome!
Honestly this is the best advice. It doesn’t have the highest chance of success, but it’s the only path that could really result in healing and reconnection. Some people do dumb things when confronted with mortality or serious illness, especially if they’re young and inexperienced. If she could be honest and sincere it would demonstrate awareness and potentially growth.
Was the serious disease a lack of money?
I’ve been dying of that one since I was a teenager.
How my mother views her children.
Did your mom downvote you lol?
I feel bad for you man. Hope you’re living your best life now
Jaysus Christ, I laughed with respect. Hope you’re doing well my man.
Spit on That Thang
She’s not a “in sickness and in health” girly .
More of a “in health and wealth” kinda girl
She can try. Hopefully, the guy won’t be dumb enough to fall for that.
I have seen couples react when one of them is given a genetic diagnosis of a fatal disease. It’s about 50/50, but more women leave.
