It could be over a few months, like a new job where one day you feel like actually going to work thinking, hey I actually like these people and don’t mind working here.
Or when your friends have been super busy for months and suddenly you get matched on dating apps, old friends reach out and people want to buy your old junk on Craigslist in a single day.
That switch flipped a few years ago. Unfortunately it only did so after my mother passed away, but I suddenly realised that I don’t need my dad’s approval in my life. And that he’s a toxic narcissist which I don’t have to like or have in my life. Understanding that, I could unravel a lot of crap from my childhood, which helps understanding some things that are wrong with me today. I guess the switch that flips when you understand that your parents don’t necessarily need to be good for you is a really important one.