Covid did this to me… 🙃
Also I have family members that are just like sometimes don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom… so yea that really just triggers me…
Honestly this is probably kinda makes me a bit suicidal…
Which is ironic because the fear of germs is a fear of death…
but sometimes this fear is just so big I can’t deal with it…
wtf…


Edit: I will probably be downvoted to hell for engaging with the fear. I refuse to treat any fear of disease as invalid, for personal and historical reasons. Feel free to downvote.
I have been wearing a P100, 3M 6000-series half-face respirator everywhere I go in public for the last 5 years (genuinely far more comfortable than any other mask I’ve ever worn). I have particularly compelling reasons why my doctor and I feel this is necessary. In my experience, it’s an effective measure, and I literally teach high school 8 hours a day with it on. It is simply normalised that Mr. Wolfram wears that mask. In my experience, the trick is this:
Note: a P100 filter literally filters out all particulates and organic vapours, so I also don’t have to deal with other people’s BO, the smell of a public restroom, nasty perfumes, cigarette smoke, or car exhaust. Each filter lasts me a couple weeks of near-constant use without any vapours or particulates getting through. It is the greatest peace of mind I have ever been granted in my life.
It’s not my bag, but you do you boo!
Oh, it’s DEFINITELY not for everyone, but as something wildly outside the norm (unless you’re in a fallout game) I think it serves to prove a point: whatever the OP needs to do to feel safe enough to engage with society, they should do, but the onus is on them. They have to set and communicate boundaries. They can’t assume that people will change how they live their lives for them. If that means that they look like a batman villain when they go to the grocery store? Well, turns out everybody else has their own problems, and nobody really cares. If they can find a solution that makes them feel like they can engage with society in a healthy way, then they should go all-in. Virtually nothing they could do would be more patently ridiculous than wearing a gas mask everywhere they go, so if I can manage five years non-stop, then surely there must be some solution that they can find.