If you get a message from someone you never matched with on Tinder, it’s not a glitch — it’s part of the app’s expensive new subscription plan that it teased earlier this year, which allows “power users” to send unsolicited messages to non-matches for the small fee of $499 per month.
That landscape, in fact, is largely populated by apps owned by Tinder’s parent company: as Bloomberg notes, Match Group Inc. not only owns the popular swiping app, but also Match.com, OKCupid, Hinge, and The League.
Match Group CEO Bernard Kim referred to Tinder’s subscriptions as “low-hanging fruit” meant to compete with other, pricier services, though that was before this $6,000-per-year tier dropped.
The incredible horror of tying self worth to romantic “success” and then charging people money for it, is awful on its face, but it leads to much worse things too. This is, in effect, charging money for people to have “access” to people who haven’t consented to being contacted, furthering the idea that money=access to people who can’t say no to you. Tinder is monetizing peoples’ emotional need for connection at best, which is horrible, but at worst it’s also propping up a whole complex of ideas that erode respect and consent toward potential romantic or sexual partners, and that the far end eventually leads to like, Andrew Tate shit. And why wouldn’t it work? People have had their self worth obliterated by the commodification of human beings that is mainstream heteronormative dating culture. Tech companies making themselves the mediator of human connection, romantic or platonic or in terms of activism, hobbies, groups, etc - and then charging money for us to know each other and meet each other - horrifies me daily.
Thanks for linking this.
Thank you for sharing this link. It was quite the read.
This was a nice read, thanks.
Yeah, this whole thing is gross but this post summarizes it best.
This is the sign you were looking for to get off of dating apps.
I totally agree that it’s a ridiculous thing for them to implement, but saying that consent is required to say ‘hi’ is a bit over the top. I’m assuming the receiving party will still be able to block the sender of course since I’m pretty sure that’s required by Google and Apple.
So there’s a big whole complex of online harassment, offline harassment, misogynistic attitudes, beliefs about dating, “strategies” for “getting” women to date or have sex with you, weird money related ideas about all of this, ideas about strategies to turn a no into a yes, etc etc, that is in the background whenever normal low stakes human interactions are happening. So it’s not the act of saying “hi, you seem cool, let’s get coffee” that is the problem. It’s the context. Tinder is making the context so, so much worse. It’s creating creating conditions that make an otherwise normal ‘hi’ seem more likely to be in bad faith, and sending a signal to malicious people that a new option for being malicious has opened up. So, even if the vast majority of people looking to meet humans this way are totally kind and earnest, it brings a certain vibe to the entire thing that will make many people, especially women who have had scary or unpleasant experiences in that vein, very uncomfortable, and cause them to think twice about that “hi”, because they know that access to their inbox has been sold, when that was never allowed before, to people who may be more likely to have bought into the aforementioned complex of bad ideas. It makes the “hi” not normal anymore.
Want to be a creepy dating stalker?
$500* please
*unlimited creepiness included!Actual creepiness is limited to two messages per week.
That said, I’m sure that (now the door is cracked slightly) there’ll be another tier with ten messages, twenty, a hundred …
This doesn’t make it better. That’s $125 per message then.
$500/month = ~$125/week, but if you get two messages per week that’s $62.50/message. Still a lot of money though.
Ah whoops.
Next step: Charging you money if you DON’T want to hear from someone you haven’t matched with.
!remindme 1 year
Not
@RemindMe@programming.dev, but here’s your one-year reminder.appreciated. very nice from you.
now if I only knew what I wanted with that reminder^^
WTF??? Monetized sexual harassment?!?!
What is even parody anymore?
Wait until you hear how other dating services used to work
deleted by creator
This move seems absolutely wild, and I think Match knows it; which is why it’s only available to such a small segment of users.
If too many users have this feature (and who knows how many that would be?) it’'s going to scare away all the regular users. What’s the point in swiping no if that user can just veto your decision anyways?
This move reminds me a lot of what I’ve heard about mobile gaming. The 500USD/month users are whales, but the whales need regular people to play with or they’ll get bored and leave.
Right now, keeping the number of whales to a minimum is important to keep the regular users happy, but I wouldn’t be surprised if in the future some cost/benefit analysis shows that they can take the hit on regular users to squeeze out a few more whales.
It also seems like a bonkers move to pay 500 dollars to talk to someone who doesn’t want to talk to you, too. (But that’s a different issue.)
Except what they’re all “playing” for are people (and lets be honest, this is aimed at creepy men who can’t get matched otherwise, so more specifically they’re “playing” for women), with their own wants and needs and often safety concerns, all of which this serves to circumvent, which is definitely not how you “win” at tinder (finding an abuse victim? Sure, but not an actual viable relationship. Which again, tells you who this was designed for and why).
Why are you assuming that men who can’t get matched are automatically creeps? That’s not at all a good assumption, and is a BIG part of the problem with tinder.
Back before I met my now fiancee, I never got tinder matches. I only got matches on OKCupid, back when you were allowed to message people before matching with them. That’s how I met my now fiancee, too.
Tinder is incredibly toxic by design and is designed to damage people’s mental health. They’ve taken dating, something that requires a lot of human interaction, and reduced it to a literal slot machine which tinder can rig however they want. They’ve reduced finding a partner to “does this person look attractive to you?” which is NOT how dating works IRL. I know a lot of people who met their partners IRL and were not attracted to them until they started getting to know each other as friends, then fell for each other.
Tinder not only exploits the problematic beauty standards in our society, but actively makes them worse. If you’re not getting matches you feel unattractive, because every piece of feedback the app gives you says you are. It doesn’t matter how charismatic or interesting you are, it doesn’t matter how much you and a potential match may have in common, all that matters is the pictures you put up, and maybe the first sentence or two of your bio.
The whole system is designed to make people using it feel desperate, men and women both, and this $500 to message first thing is incredibly scummy. They suck you in, kill your self confidence, depress you, then offer you what seems like a lifeline.
This is like a casino offering you a slot machine with a 50% higher win rate for a monthly subscription.
I never said men who can’t get matched are creeps, I said this is aimed at creeps who can’t get matched but would be willing to pay $500 a month to force themsleves on to others. That’s who you’re jumping to the defence of here.
No, you just heavily implied it. If you didn’t mean to then you need to edit you comment. And I laid out how I clearly disagree with the idea that this is “aimed at creeps,” because it’s aimed at people who have been made desperate by the predatory nature of Tinder’s algorithm. Desperation doesn’t necessarily make someone creepy, but it does make Tinder a lot of money.
Also, why are you making it seem like someone sending a message to someone else on a dating app is somehow a kind of, like, assault? You’re using very aggressive language to describe normal behavior by people trying to date, AKA talking to other people who they may be interested in
Men who would do this are definitely creepy.
Yup, definitely feels like a p2w game pricing model
Every time I see something about tinder it’s just worse and worse. why would I want to use it?
why would I want to use it?
You wouldn’t, but that’s fine with Match Group: JP Morgan[1] are loving this new monetization strategy. If they think they can get more money out of their users they will, the experience and usefulness of their app be damned. Very similar to aggressively monetized mobile games, but extra icky since they’re monetizing human relationships.
I’m sure other investment firms are pleased as well, but JP Morgan was the firm mentioned in the article ↩︎
It was good for a while, but yeah, they need to make money somehow and I guess that’s how they decided to do it. This one will definitely backfire. The last thing anyone wants is getting dick pics from a sad sack who pays $500/Mo for that privilege. Women are going to leave in droves.
That’s fine. For every woman who leaves, 10 more bots will join, and they’ll appreciate the extra attention!
pretty sure you can’t send images on tinder
The ladies will be so impressed with just how much 8 is equal to D!
It’s the most used dating app. Logically people think that if a dating app has a lot of users, their chances of finding matches are higher. But it’s rigged.
This is going scare away regular people and especially women pretty fast.
One of OKCupid’s founders - Christian Rudder was in a band called Bishop Allen (along with Justin Rice). Awesome band. That has nothing to do with this thread - just thought I’d recommend you check them out.
Sir, This Is A Wendy’s
That’s half my rent
So they’re gonna spend $500 a month to spam some chick’s inbox…and still have no rizz lmao
Imagine spending 500$/Month to harass people on a dating app. That’s creepy and sad.
Whoever thought about this idea is a freaking GENIUS.
Surely this is just validating SA and misogyny.
That should make things easy for gold diggers
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“We know that there is a subset of highly engaged and active users who prioritize more effective and efficient ways to find connections,” Tinder’s chief product officer, Mark Van Ryswyk, told Bloomberg.
Regardless of how Tinder tries to spin the new feature — which, it should be noted, only allows the rich and rizzless to send non-match messages twice a week — it’s a very sad set of circumstances, even in the bleak landscape of dating apps.
The new “Tinder Select” subscription, which will offer three tiers starting at $24.99 per month, was purportedly created in part to help the app compete with other expensive services.
Indeed, Bloomberg notes that earlier this year, Match Group CEO Bernard Kim referred to Tinder’s subscriptions as “low-hanging fruit” meant to compete with other, pricier services, though that was before this $6,000-per-year tier dropped.
While this “new offering” may seem like a blatant cash grab to the average person, JP Morgan Chase & Co seemed pretty impressed, as the report notes, naming Match Group’s stock one of its top picks and upping its target price to boot.
“We expect Tinder payer trends to improve as focus shifts from price optimizations to product & engagement,” a JPMorgan analysis viewed by Bloomberg read.
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