I started last year, for several reasons. Most of which werr related to my wife and I creating a polycule with another couple a year earlier. After 1 year in I did some evaluation and realized I needed to make some changes, and journaling was an answer for a lot of those.

1. Memory. I’m almost certainly on the autistic spectrum, and for most of my life I’ve had a remarkably good memory. Not “photographic”, and I known better than to trust any human memory too much, but in general I was pretty good at remembering details. I am also very introverted. I like to spend time alone, reflecting on the last couple of days and solidifying my memories in meditation.

Being in a polycule means that I both have much less time for that meditation and much more stuff to remember. I also was a mild THC user before, mostly for my knee pain or jjsy because getting high on occasion is fun. But ibstatted leaning on it more heavily to deal with the stress of constant socialization.

So when I found myself in conversations remembering that I had been told things, but unable to remember what they were. Like my girlfriend’s home town or my boyfriend’s favorite Zelda game. Not stuff they even necessarily expected me to remember, but stuff I felt bad for forgetting.

2. Validation and evaluation. One of the establishing philosophies of the polycule we talked about up-front was that we woukd still prioritize our respective marriages. We were all established adults and homeowners with no children- this wasn’t a full joining-of-households or roomates situation. Last summer I started to feel like my wife wasn’t spending much time with me though. I started journaling and after a few months found that, sure enough, we had pretty much stopped doing all of the things the two of us used to do together (playing videogames, watching TV and movies ,etc). It is not at all that I minded her spending time with the other people, but when she WAS home with me she woukd just lay on the couch reading, sleeping, scrolling Instagram, or playing Stardew Valley.

My wife also has a medical condition that derailed her career, so a while ago we decided it made more sense for her to stop working and be a homemaker. So I became the sole income earner, and she took over the chores we used to split(laundry, cooking, dishes, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc). I would still contribute on occssion: I am not some boomer stereotype of a man who doesn’t know how a laundry machine works, and I like to cook on occasion. But as she spent more and more time with our girlfriend and boyfriend she also did less and less of those chores. It led to a lot of Saturday mornings, which are supposed to be so e relaxing time off work for me, but instead I need to spend time cleaning or scooping the litter or getting groceries because she didn’t do it, and with our gf & bf coming over that night I want the house to be respectable.

I FELT all of these things, and discussed them with her a little bit, but journaling gave me the confidencd to talk to my wife about it, provide details, and help her to see what she was doing too. When I said that we never did anything together anymore, her first reaction was “wait didn’t we just watch that TV show like a week or two ago?”. And because of journaling I was able to say “that was 5 months ago”.

3. Working through feelings. For most of my life I have done this without needing to write anything down. I would just spend some time alone and, well, think. Let the thoughts and feelings flow naturally and sort them out. But with so much less time to myself I wanted to take a more direct and active approach. I still think I prefer my natural approach- doing it through journalling feels forced and rushed. But its better than just struggling.

4. Monitoring health. I weighed 207lbs when we started this polycule, and now I’m down to 161. Largely due to a couple stints of low-carb dieting.

Also, not to get too graphic but group sex is very different from duo or solo. So having a record of how things have gone and how I’ve felt about things has been nice.

I should also note that for the first 6 months, I just logged narratively. I tried to remember to write down important things, tried to predict what my future self might want to go back and check later. Using keywords I would know to search for (digital is better for me- I use Joplin). After 6 months, I decided to pull out some key measurables and use a separate app to log those. My weed and alcohol use, exercise, and sexual activity.

My life is intresging AS fuck (im writing my auto biography)

It came with the distro

For me it is not about documenting my life at all. It is about processing very strong emotions (negative, positive, neutral?) that I can’t move on from.

Here are all entries in my diary:

2025-07 The Pornhub Hoody
2025-01 Debating K
2024-10 The criteria
2024-10 No Encounter
2024-10 A Pawn in their game
2024-08 What a Wash
2024-03 S The Aftermath
2021-06 T admiration 

Note the names are abbreviated with just a letter in the entry itself too. In the moment it is often too hard for me to write the actual name. I have removed the exact date but I don’t think the titles are too sensitve.

I review my entries like once a year and it is still very hard to read some of them. I think remembering the past is very importnat. It also shows growth, improvement and development.

Older ones are sadly lost to time. I think it really helped me improve myself a lot.

I never force myself to write them. I write them when I feel I have to. It also keeps the number low and the impact high ideal for a yearly review.

Some have blocks of dated commentary at the end. I never edit existing writing though. Once it is written it is frozen.

I tend to overshare online about my trauma because I want to feel seen and then a wave of guilt washes over me. Best to keep it to myself on paper. I journal to keep a record of my feelings, how my days/week went, and to help me reduce overthinking.

As years go by, I look back on how much I’ve grown and progressed in life. Though I did throw the notebooks away because they were filled with horrible memories and I wanted to start over. I still remember what I wrote, but I’ve healed from them so it doesn’t really hurt me that much anymore.

I also have a book of wins where I write everything that I achieved from small to big wins-- from getting out of bed with depression to hitting the gym to solving a difficult problem on a project.

I don’t journal to document my life but to organize my tasks.

There are different ways of journaling.

I do it because I like the physical act of writing itself. I mean I literally just find it enjoyable in and of itself. So, sometimes I journal even if I don’t have anything to write. But, it is helpful to process certain things or just document important events in one’s life. It’s interesting to go back and see what you were thinking and feeling at the time of a major turning point in your life and compare to how you feel now or how you remember that event now.

Some people journal just to record what they did in the day, and this a journal becomes a record of activity. That can be helpful if you’re trying to ingrain yourself in new habits or get rid of old ones.

I think it can help process some feelings as you’re defining things before you put them on paper instead of everything being a nebulous mess. Also, if you want to retrospectively understand what happened, the journal can help you establish a timeline and causes and effects, right? I’ve never done it but it’s probably helpful to some of us.

A dear friend with a neurodivergence explained her journal to me as cue cards for different places, emotions, and experiences she’d had.

Much like a great dream, most of the memories would turn to smoke without a written pointer of what it was she’d done that day.

It’s a daily list of reminders

I use it as a way to voice my thoughts and emotions that I cannot express otherwise. I primarily write poems for that.

You write because it organizes your thoughts better. Every other reason I feel will not sustain the effort.

I used Daylio to make daily entries, tagging activities that day and stuff like that.

I made it…2418 days in a row? Huh, wow.

I liked how it would figure out how different things like “rainy day”, “friend hangout”, “work”, or “a-hole encounter at work”, would impact your overall mood the day they occurred and the day after.

I would just kinda write a few paragraphs about the day before going to bed, add some pictures…

I have ADHD and a crappy memory for everyday things, so sometimes it was cool to go back and actually think about and process my day, and also look at entries of good days or bad days and see what I was thinking back then.

But I kinda dropped off…I got too busy and tired, I’d pass out before bothering with it, and…I didn’t really record things that were particularly insightful?

I also didn’t like the streak pressure. I’d catch myself making entries like “I don’t remember this day but I’m sure it was fine” like 4 entries in a row just to keep that streak going LOL.

But I am kinda proud I stuck with anything that long. Kinda like DuoLingo and other “positive” habit forming apps, I almost find more strength in choosing to let it go now, and try something else.

Shamelessly pointing to the journaling community: !journaling@sh.itjust.works. There is also a great introduction in the !nanowrimo2@feddit.online community.

I journal mostly because I like writing and the ritual of sitting down (usually with a hot chocolate) and thinking about what is going on inside my head. It’s like someone asking “how was your day” and you tell them. Sometimes nothing special, sometimes a lot and sometimes you think it has not been much, but once you start it all falls into place and the thoughts and emotions start to come up. I don’t do it daily, but multiple times per week.

There are many ways to journal. You can use prompts, if you are unsure what to write about. It can be more shallow, like what has happened during the day. Or more deep to explore your feelings. Some like to track what’s going on in their life and it’s actual closer to a logbook. But that’s fine as well. It has to fit for you after all and will probably change as you go along and get more comfortable with it.

And, to be honest, sometimes it’s a good excuse to buy that pretty notebook I saw in the store…

I have been journaling for 50 years or so (started as a little 7 year-old boy and I’m now nearing my 60s). My life is not remarkable, and I don’t much tings out of the ordinary. I journal for various reasons:

• As a child, as a way to escape the… painful situation I was in
• Then, very quickly, after I realized the amazing power writing was giving me, to outsmart my mother and his need to control me.
• Then, journaling had already become a habit. I just do it (or don’t do it, some times for very long period of time I will not care about journaling and I consider this fine too)

I now journal to put some order in my head and to keep a record of things and stuff around me. As a record, I feel no need to write long paragraphs. Heck, I even record the weather and… my mood, in a single word or two, sorry the pictures of my journals are in French (I write it mostly in French) but you can get the idea. As for putting order in my head, it depends: it will be long or short depending what I’m writing about, I don’t care provided it helps me ;)

Btw, the link I shared goes to a journaling community I’m the admin of. Feel free to join and to participate: you’re more than welcome. Even though it looks a bit too sleepy for teh time being, like I promised a few months ago, I should be able to start again investing some time in it soonish, The things that are still keeping me busy are just more demanding than expected ;)

I barely do it anymore but when I did it was a bit to put thoughts in order or tell stuff that I couldn’t tell to anyone to someone that will never read it.
Sometimes was some kind of dialogue with myself.

Nowadays is mostly for the pleasure of writing by hand and improving my handwriting or as an excuse to use my typewriter.