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That’s basically a version of how I open Teams meetings with Developers.
“I’m Chilie. I’m a Planner. Are you on fucking crack proposing to build this environmental nightmare in the middle of a floodway?”
I was wondering how a floodway affected software developers but I eventually figured it out.
It’s funny. My sister has a very sucessful career in the software industry, and I’m a City Planner.
We’re always confusing the rest of the family at holidays. We both have a lot of strong opinions on development and we’re both interested in the other’s career, so listening to our back and forth conversations has to be maddening.
That seems like a lot of fun! Do you live in the same city? I would complain abt all the road work
We live on opposite sides of the country.
We grew up in a very Republican area. I stayed and fight the good fight, but my sister has a child and it’s better not to raise children in this environment.
Its a streaming overflow area for a data lake. Usually implemented with some sort of hierarchal storage management solution. Its used when you are streaming data somewhere but the connection is interrupted and its suboptimal to add further partitions to your streaming, and your boss isnt cool with just deleting the data that we all know will never be used for anything at all. So you stay up all night moving this crap data around, questioning your life choices and feeling like a moron.
They get very agitated when they learn their server is in a basement located in a floodway.
You wouldn’t happen to be talking about the new data center in Fargo, would you?
This would be amazing.
The last young lady who told me an interesting fact about dinosaurs was on my mind for a month.
Know what? Next time I ask a woman out…
“Hi I’m [Redacted], I’m [Redacted]yo. I like photography and nature walks and my cats. You’re really pretty and seem cool, you wanna eat lunch together?”
(Fuck actually now that I type that out, it’s actually just a less eloquent phrasing of my current approach. Well. Consarn it.)
Am a woman, would be down for someone asking me out like that. I now know something about you, I know your thoughts about me and don’t have to guess, and you’re putting forward a suggestion of what to do.
Tbh, it feels way more honest and real than most guys cheesy pickup lines. I’d probably engage with someone who approached me like that.
Hi, I’m the ex-World’s dumbest man, you have a cool username, I don’t actually want to date.
Want to go fight in a videogame of your choosing?
“Hi, I’m George Kastanza, I’m 38 and I live with my parents.”
You skipped the brain dump about vim keybindings.
Imagine people introduce themselves like dogs. Your ass smells nice, let’s fuck.
No joke, I’ve had this happen.
You need to elaborate
Did you guys fuck?
Yeah. She pegged me then we did it against a wall.
I mean, “your ass looks nice let’s fuck” is basically what some ppl do. lol
Hi Katie. I don’t have any friends. I like vodka and people who don’t comment on my thinning hair. You’re being a real bitch right now.
I tried this after watching my daughter go up to someone and just straight up ask if they want to be friends before names or anything.
All I can say is it works.
My follicular challenges notwithstanding, I like Katie and would want to be her friend.
Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya.
You have met my father. Prepare to be friends
Some of us do though. The world would be a better place if we all did!
But I don’t need to have everyone tell me I’m bald. I know this. Tell me something nice.
Kid is not being mean, it’s just unfiltered observation
not even just toddlers, I had primary school age kids in a lift be like “wow, you guys are really short 👀” really?? never noticed, thanks for telling me 🙃
You’l die some day, and the world will be a better place! (:
Jk man, hugs and kissea (well ok, not kisses, because like, I need consent for that, and I don’t know you that well).
I mean, you should probably ask for consent for hugs too. Some people aren’t super comfortable with touch or being constricted.
Ironicaly, me included.
No, you’re bald, Katie and my dad can beat up your dad.
This would be a relief. Yes, I am autistic, why do you ask?
Picture it: “hi I’m Hedgehog what’s your favorite dinosaur? My favorite dinosaur is parasaurolophus”
Unfortunately now I’m an adult and asking people about their favorite dinosaurs marks me as weird, which in the workplace is not good.
Tbh where I work asking someone their favourite dinosaur would probably start a multiple hour long discussion/argument.
Yeah though I expect people won’t be happy when my answer is the American crow
Not if you find a way to work in a preschool
No. That’s amazing. I think if someone actually said something like that irl as an opener, we’d become good friends.
I… would love this idea.
That’s ideally what people would put in their dating profile.
Uhhhh you can? This is basically what I do. The key is to just not give a shit and accept that not everyone is gonna respond.
