Dad: “Look both ways before crossing the street”

Me as a child: “But this is a one-way street”

Dad: “You look both ways because people are idiots”

Regarding marriage and relationships

I saw a reddit thread many years ago before I met my wife asking for advice from long-time couples.

I was single at the time, and was pretty comfortable with that, not that I wasn’t interested in being in a relationship, but it wasn’t a priority for me and I never had much luck picking up girls.

Most of it was the usual stuff about communication, and sharing housework, respect, and all of that.

But the one that stood out to me was

“Don’t forget to date your wife”

A good many years later, I managed to stumble my way bass-ackwards into dating my now-wife. A few years later we were married.

And for a lot of couples, dating kind of slows down at that point. One or both of them stop putting in effort, and they just kind of stagnate and drift apart.

That’s far from the only reason relationships fail of course, but I think that’s a bigger part in a lot of cases than many people think.

So I always keep my ear to the ground for cool events, restaurants, shows, places to go, things to do, etc. and make sure that there’s always something coming up on the horizon for us to look forward to. Sometimes it’s a simple dinner at a restaurant we’ve been to countless times, sometimes it’s a big elaborate day out where we get dressed up, find our way to a couple different nice bars and restaurants, walk around a museum, see a show or to an orchestra performance, etc.

I try to have at least one thing planned a month, not always successfully, but more often than not, and we sometimes squeeze in another little spontaneous date night or two here and there. Most of the time we’re out doing something fun as a couple at least once a week.

Don’t give more information than you need to when talking to authority.

Late to work? Say “sorry I’m late”. Don’t give a reason unless asked. Need to take a day off? Say “I’m taking Friday off” or “I am taking a sick day”. Unless asked for a reason don’t explain further.

Stopped by a cop for speeding? Answer plainly with one word sentences. “Do you know why I stopped you?” “No.”

People often dig themselves holes by offering too much information when simple information would have been sufficient. I’ve seen it happen in real time, where a coworker was denied time off because of the death of a pet because the boss didn’t think that was reason enough to take time off, when the coworker could have just said “family emergency” and explained no further.

Its a great little piece of advice that has served pretty well over the years.

“Be excellent to each other”

There’s one piece of advice I got from a Mickey mouse comic of all places. When I was a kid I read this Mickey mouse comic where he gets kidnapped and has to escape, but it’s cold outside and he doesn’t have any clothes, so he wears a mattress for warmth. Everyone laughs at him, but he keeps thinking something like “as long as I’m warm, they may laugh at me”, and for some reason that piece of advice stuck with me forever.

Don’t drink your calories. Changed my life completely and put me on a path to losing 35 Kgs.

Every day, make one thing better.

Don’t make promises when you’re happy; don’t make decisions when you’re sad.

Don’t panic.

“They don’t pay your bills. [Stop worrying about what they say]”

Met an old guy in the 90’s who was one of the OG Hells Angels. He said, “Getting old ain’t for pussies.” He wasn’t wrong. All the stupid things you did when you were younger so find you when you get older.

Remember that any advice your parent’s give you is a minimum of 20 years past the ‘best by’ date.

There is no point in being self defeating, I already have all the treasures and items I would get from that battle

you will never be given time; you have to take it.

No one is thinking about you as much as you are