Nothing in the world seems to help. I spent forever trying to find something to watch, but literally nothing felt good. Even when I eventually put something on it felt empty and I just ended up staring at the wall. I tried playing videos games, some of which I really love, and I turned them all off after a few minutes. I’ve tried other things too. Half the time I don’t even eat. Time passes in slow motion, like some kind of purgatory. The worst is I can’t even sleep. I have the next few days off and they’re going to feel like an eternity. It actually scares me. How do you get through this? I’m desperate.
For what it’s worth, I see a therapist weekly and I’m on a few different medications. This particular bout of sadness is caused by an especially painful rejection.
I took up the guitar during Covid, and it made me feel so good that I realized that I’ve been operating under a low-grade depression for a long, long time.
Try playing music, whatever moves you. It takes focus and concentration, and there’s a significant learning curve, but it feels so good when you understand a new concept, and can apply it to your instrument. It takes mental and physical discipline, and progress there may help with the rest.
I don’t have much confidence in my ability to play music. But music is the one thing that can get any kind of rise out of me during these phases. I wish I had musical performing talent, but I can’t keep rhythm and there’s something about the way my voice sounds or works that will never sound good. I’ve tried singing for guys tutorials on YouTube. But it is a dream of mine to play guitar and sing. There’s something about music that can convey a feeling in a universal way, the way words can’t. Which is funny because words are involved as in lyrics.