Not going to offer many details on the where or how, as I don’t intend to dox myself, but suffice it to say that I will continue touching butts for an extended period. I don’t like feeling aroused by the act. These people placed trust in me. Trust that I mean them no harm and that I am safe to be around. I can certainly be both while aroused, but I’d rather not have to deal with this.
I’d prefer not to dissociate through work, but I can’t find another way to contextualize my experiences in a way that doesn’t leave me frustrated until I get home.
It might take more than a few days. I asked my brother about a similar thing - he was a cheerleader and part of that is practically groping butts. He just said after a while the act in that context got desensitized and wasn’t an issue, but it was awkward until then.
That is heartening and leaves me hopeful. I’m hoping butts turn a stale beige sooner rather than later
Maybe don’t hope that for just every butt, but butts that are work related.