I’m Cave Johnson, here to personally thank you for volunteering to test Aperture Science’s brand new long range spacetime displacement device. Before we begin, there’s 2 things I need to mention.
First off, there is a non-zero percent, closer to 90, chance that you will end up being a just a random arrangement of atoms after the test. Not in a philosophical way. Just an absolutely random heap of atoms sprawled across the testing chamber floor.
Second, I need to remind you that the waiver you signed is iron clad. You can thank the suits in legal for that.
…but we’re not just random arrangements of atoms…
Not with THAT kind of attitude!
I’m Cave Johnson, here to personally thank you for volunteering to test Aperture Science’s brand new long range spacetime displacement device. Before we begin, there’s 2 things I need to mention.
First off, there is a non-zero percent, closer to 90, chance that you will end up being a just a random arrangement of atoms after the test. Not in a philosophical way. Just an absolutely random heap of atoms sprawled across the testing chamber floor.
Second, I need to remind you that the waiver you signed is iron clad. You can thank the suits in legal for that.
Now let’s begin!
Or are we Boltzmann brain