Racism, sexism and all the various other “hate these people” isms and phobias are arguably methods for expressing and rationalizing anger. And they’re bad. But what’s a good way?
Racism, sexism and all the various other “hate these people” isms and phobias are arguably methods for expressing and rationalizing anger. And they’re bad. But what’s a good way?
Once a therapist told me that a lot of the time anger is a secondary emotion; that is, it’s an emotion that comes out of another emotion.
So you don’t necessarily get angry out of nothing, but you get angry because you’re scared, or disappointed, or you feel wronged, or something else.
So their recommendation was to identify the emotion that’s making you angry, and express/rationalize that instead.
I get angry because of frustration about things beyond my control that impact me negatively and can’t simply be ignored. Knowing that extra step is great and all, but doesn’t reduce the frustration or the anger. I’m sure that identifying the difference is helpful to some people who can ignore or address the actual cause of their anger.
Note: I don’t get angry about frustrating things that I can do something about, or can be ignored.
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As a teen, I would consciously turn hurt into hate to avoid it. I was emotionally aware enough to know that I was running from it, but not emotionally aware enough to confront it. Therapy works, folks.
Usually it’s my own stupidity, clumsiness, dumb decisions, or ignorance, and knowing that just makes me more angry :/
And it’s good to recognize that! It means now you know to work on self-compassion (which is really hard but really worth doing)
Agreed. Say, past trauma. Leading to anxiety, anger and etc.
I don’t put much hope rational analysis.
Maybe solitude and meditation. Maybe a month in the forest with friends and a big bag of shrooms.