1.) I grew up in this line of thinking (but also deeply religious, so it’s a little different) and it dissipated due to two main things: psychedelics and losing weight/becoming more confident and in-shape. In my case, I hated myself because I was unattractive and very overweight. I saw other people getting girls and resented how easy it seemed, while I felt invisible.
My GenZ son is in his early twenties and lockdown and covid impacts on his health and school have really thrown him for a loop. He has not been overcome by fascist ideologies, but we seem unable to inspire him with any motivation. He’s the same sweet person he’s always been, but I think he is content to just play video games in his room and do D&D with his friends a couple times a week forever. (I understand that, but we won’t always be here to put a roof over his head, and we are not wealthy people. He’s going to need to support himself when we go.)
He is also very overweight (the entire family is, but he’s really accelerating it) and although he doesn’t seem very very bothered by it, I know he’s aware of it.
I understand the need for exercise and I understand calories. Those things don’t need explaining. But I’d love to know how you got over that hurdle to start doing something about your body. I feel like some successes there could easily translate to greater confidence and motivation in other areas.
We spend lots of time together, we enjoy him just like we always have, he just seems rudderless and we’re trying to help him without controlling him, but with limited success.
Anything you might be able to share about your turnaround could be helpful. Though I’m not offering him psychadelics. 🙂
Unfortunately, that really is the answer for me. Psychedelics made it all finally click in a way that stuck. I had previously seen marginal success in dieting, but could never keep it off. Because I was coming from a religious background, part of it was, “What’s the point?” Sex is wrong. I married young. Life sucks. And so on. Psychedelics made all of the percolating doubts and insecurities click into place in a clear way. “I’m NOT really religious; I don’t believe it. I’m not raising my kids that way. No third-party is going to step-in and change my body for me. Nobody is going to put the weights in my hand and check my progress. I have to take care of me. I either have to take action or shut up and live with the consequences. I’d really prefer to live a life where I’m more desirable and it’s not really anyone else’s fault if I’m not putting in enough effort and ‘losing the mating game.’” And so on–can’t really characterize a trip like that with words obviously.
I might have/probably would have eventually gotten there without psychedelics? I think? Maybe? I don’t know. But they certainly provided the swift kick in the ass I needed to clarify years of baggage. I know it’s not helpful to say “give your child psychedelics,” but it just happens to be what helped me (specifically, one instance of using shrooms was the most-impactful, I mostly only ever microdosed a few times besides that one trip).
I have a long-time close friend who has long struggled with weight in a serious way. He briefly lost it and suddenly he was dating a beautiful Ukrainian girl, seeing the benefits of being healthy, loving life. That was a long time ago, it ended, he gained it all back. The closest I’ve come to getting through to him is to be a bit more crass than I normally would be in saying, “REMEMBER HOW GOOD IT WAS TO BE WITH THAT GIRL!? DON’T YOU MISS THAT AND WANT IT BACK? ISN’T THAT WORTH A FEW MONTHS OF WORK?” But being a bit more pointed in my language. But again, you’re probably not going to say, “Don’t you miss that good pussy!?” to your son, so…I’m kind of useless to you, maybe.
I can see how that makes sense. I’m not anti-psychedelics in general (if presented with a binary choice of being anti or not), but I’m also not of the experience level nor comfort level to be offering them to my son. If they would become something available to him clinically I’d support it if recommended by his doctor of course. (not that he needs our permission at his age)
Nonetheless I appreciate that you took the time to make that detailed write up. Thanks!
My GenZ son is in his early twenties and lockdown and covid impacts on his health and school have really thrown him for a loop. He has not been overcome by fascist ideologies, but we seem unable to inspire him with any motivation. He’s the same sweet person he’s always been, but I think he is content to just play video games in his room and do D&D with his friends a couple times a week forever. (I understand that, but we won’t always be here to put a roof over his head, and we are not wealthy people. He’s going to need to support himself when we go.)
He is also very overweight (the entire family is, but he’s really accelerating it) and although he doesn’t seem very very bothered by it, I know he’s aware of it.
I understand the need for exercise and I understand calories. Those things don’t need explaining. But I’d love to know how you got over that hurdle to start doing something about your body. I feel like some successes there could easily translate to greater confidence and motivation in other areas.
We spend lots of time together, we enjoy him just like we always have, he just seems rudderless and we’re trying to help him without controlling him, but with limited success.
Anything you might be able to share about your turnaround could be helpful. Though I’m not offering him psychadelics. 🙂
Unfortunately, that really is the answer for me. Psychedelics made it all finally click in a way that stuck. I had previously seen marginal success in dieting, but could never keep it off. Because I was coming from a religious background, part of it was, “What’s the point?” Sex is wrong. I married young. Life sucks. And so on. Psychedelics made all of the percolating doubts and insecurities click into place in a clear way. “I’m NOT really religious; I don’t believe it. I’m not raising my kids that way. No third-party is going to step-in and change my body for me. Nobody is going to put the weights in my hand and check my progress. I have to take care of me. I either have to take action or shut up and live with the consequences. I’d really prefer to live a life where I’m more desirable and it’s not really anyone else’s fault if I’m not putting in enough effort and ‘losing the mating game.’” And so on–can’t really characterize a trip like that with words obviously.
I might have/probably would have eventually gotten there without psychedelics? I think? Maybe? I don’t know. But they certainly provided the swift kick in the ass I needed to clarify years of baggage. I know it’s not helpful to say “give your child psychedelics,” but it just happens to be what helped me (specifically, one instance of using shrooms was the most-impactful, I mostly only ever microdosed a few times besides that one trip).
I have a long-time close friend who has long struggled with weight in a serious way. He briefly lost it and suddenly he was dating a beautiful Ukrainian girl, seeing the benefits of being healthy, loving life. That was a long time ago, it ended, he gained it all back. The closest I’ve come to getting through to him is to be a bit more crass than I normally would be in saying, “REMEMBER HOW GOOD IT WAS TO BE WITH THAT GIRL!? DON’T YOU MISS THAT AND WANT IT BACK? ISN’T THAT WORTH A FEW MONTHS OF WORK?” But being a bit more pointed in my language. But again, you’re probably not going to say, “Don’t you miss that good pussy!?” to your son, so…I’m kind of useless to you, maybe.
I can see how that makes sense. I’m not anti-psychedelics in general (if presented with a binary choice of being anti or not), but I’m also not of the experience level nor comfort level to be offering them to my son. If they would become something available to him clinically I’d support it if recommended by his doctor of course. (not that he needs our permission at his age)
Nonetheless I appreciate that you took the time to make that detailed write up. Thanks!