If changing your name wasn’t such a pain in the arse I’d make my middle name my surname. When I was born I was given my mother’s surname (their relationship was already on the rocks and they split up shortly after). My dad always wanted me to change my surname to his when I became an adult. I considered it but I’m 38 now and I never did. My middle name is his first name, I like the way my first and middle names sound together and I feel that not having either parent’s surname would avoid the baggage.

I remember my friend telling me he hated cats, whilst he was cradling mine in his arm like a baby and stroking his head.

But then again, what’s the point?

The good children get Emacs. The bad children also get Emacs.

Would have been 2003/04, waiting for the bus to college. Dude who looked like a farmer with a huge beard asked “is this the stop for town.” I said yes, sat down, didn’t think anything of it. Few minutes later I noticed his bag was moving. No idea what the hell was in it.

Bacon pitufo.

Matt Groening lost control of the Simpsons

I hope Elijah was good, but that’s not for me to judge

Elijah Did

Is it time to crack open Satansmaggotycumfart and feast on the goo inside?

This vacuuming is brought you by Squarespace…

Well, I’ve found my drag queen name. Say hello to Laura Zepam.

I’m taking steps to stop myself consuming content constantly so I’ve stopped listening to podcasts when I’m out. If I’m on a long train or plane journey in the future I’ll probably bring my earphones along but only then. Now I just walk and think.

Top right

I don’t know, but I’m down with the clown… oh sorry, I thought you asked what was a Juggalo

Or Dohmer, with an O

It’s nicely inconspicuous.

Probably, because my last name is pretty rare. I actually have my mother’s surname so I think I’d just change it to my father’s.

How in the hell did a six year old get hold of a gun?

You can regularly blast the port with compressed air to minimise the build up of crud which necessitates this, but the time comes to all.