In my best Arnold impersonation: “You named your cat Julius!”

Wow, I could not have imagined that gluten free would be so accurate. It’s a great representation of how it’s missing something major, but I guess it’s still bread.

My favorite rock has a first name, it’s H-O-M-E-R. My favorite rock has a second name, it’s H-O-M-E-R.

Yes

Through the magic of buying two of them, you have someone who agrees that it should be on the list.

The release of “1985” by Bowling for Soup was closer to actual 1985 than we are to its release.

I’d rather pit the zombies against each other.

Lady Maga sounds like a nickname that The Daily Show would come up with for Lauren Boebert if she started singing.

Mic holder, probably: “How do you like it?”

Look at fancy pants over here with their multiple friend groups!

I first read regrets as Rugrats. Putting that next to pornhub is interesting context.

We are currently further from the release of the song “1989” than the release was from actual 1989.

Me flavored water, 15 cents! Come taste my knees!

What a coincidence, a game friend was just talking about receiving some high end perfume as a gift from her son and she was disappointed that it smelled like soap.

I usually buy the cheap Fruity Pebbles for my kids, but Walmart has out of them one day so I got the name brand as a treat. Their response? “Dad, please don’t buy those again. Dyno Bites are better.” I was flabbergasted.

Then again, they don’t see cereal ads, don’t know who the Flintstones are, but love dinosaurs.

Firewatch is a must buy at $2. Great story. The Forest at $2 is great to grab for you and a few friends who like to play survival games and don’t mind some gore.

If you like malapropisms, you’ll love Martha Plimpton’s character in Raising Hope, Virginia. Procrasturbate and vaginacologist are a couple favorites.

Bonus: her middle name is Slims. Virginia Slims Chance

It’s been a long time since I’ve been, but I distinctly remember Olive Garden having a chocolate lasagna. It was decent, but nothing to rave about.

laughs in Futurama

James Bond is actually a time lord. It explains why he changes how he looks every few movies. This is backed up by the fact that Timothy Dalton played a time lord once in Doctor Who.