You don’t even know the half of it.

My friend convinced a 45 yr old pharmacist to divorce her husband and leave her family. He dumped her right after.

Ikr? How is wine measured in slabs…

Bohemian rhapsody - it’s one of the greatest songs ever made, just curious to see how it would retard the progression of music.

Huh thought he only did rock

You guys get forgiveness?

I stopped buying consoles after they wanted to charge me to use the internet. That’s not how this works.

I think it was a jail protection things.

I didn’t wanna be fat in university so I started BJJ. Then I didn’t wanna be weak in BJJ so I started lifting weights. Then I wanted to make weight so I started eating better.

Kind of a slippery slope to health 🤷‍♂️.

Oh he will

Tbh, prosecutors are just as evil as the criminals.

I like everything except that last part. DO MAINTENANCE ON YOUR RELATIONSHIPS PEOPLE. Not enough people maintain relationships

Huh I never thought about it like that.

“Cause I’m having a good time, I’m having a ball”

All of those have hidden homosexual messages.

What fresh he’ll is this…

Had no idea busty Natalie Portman was missing in my life, but now I do.

THIS is why you shouldn’t do front line reporting. Abby Martin refused because of stuff like this. Don’t give me surprised Pikachu face if you get hurt in a warzone.

What do they have in common? They’re all fake…

Ugh, hate reruns