The PC I had as a teenager had teal trim.

I will also believe “war is hell, especially when waged by retards.”

Yeah but this is the 2020s, malls are dead and pathetic.

Krafton is South Korean. How’s the corporate culture in South Korea? Are they as ritual-suicide-for-going-home-before-the-boss-does as Japan?

I choose to secure all of North America.

People post shot to multiple communities on multiple instances.

Oh, don’t even pretend anyone cares about Afghanistan.

You know, I’m still struggling to believe the story I’ve been told about that. “The US bombed an elementary school.”

For my entire life, the US has demonstrated precision munitions. The AGM-114 Ginsu is an air-to-ground laser-guided rocket that can kill an individual passenger in a car. We can fly a Tomahawk cruise missile into a specific window of a building. I’ve seen a bridge in Iraq bombed seconds after the last car crossed. Not saying GI Joe is a paragon of virtue, I’ve seen the pictures from Abu Ghraib, but…That shit sounds a lot more like Israel than us.

Even in the “no kill like overkill” “We don’t target coordinates, we target grid squares” “enemy fire is coming from that way, destroy that way” United States, that shit sounds a lot more like Israel than us.

We’re certainly attacking Iran because Israel wanted us to.

And as we all know, Taco Bell won the Franchise Wars.

The United States has a variant of the AGM-114 Hellfire missile that replaces the explosive warhead with six scimitar blades. Because fuck That Guy, the whole That Guy and nothing but the That Guy.

Because the article is about Subnautica, and the legal battle between private equity everything ruiner firm Krafton and Unknown Worlds Entertainment, the game dev studio best known for the Subnautica series.

First thing I remember hearing was Krafton announcing that Subnautica would be a live service multiplayer game, and then Unknown Worlds coming right in behind saying No the hellfuck it’s not! It’s going to be a cooperative multiplayer game that players host locally, and we’ll be doing an early access campaign with continuing updates after the 1.0 release just like we did with Subnautica 1.

It has spiraled from there.

The Japanese got in on it too; google Unit 731. Among the outright torture and biological warfare they did some genuine if extremely unethical experiments, learning a lot about several diseases. In a similar case to Werner Von Braun, the US granted the leaders immunity in exchange for their research data.

I’m comfortable working in both systems, I prefer standard for furniture building because I need to divide by 3 or 4 more often than by 5. I’m also going to fly in knots, nautical miles and feet of altitude.

If you’re the CEO of a company, like Unknown Worlds, it’s your job to steer the company around outright fraud, like offers to purchase the company for far, far more money than you’d hope to generate with every planned project.

Where was that half billion going to come from? Each of the previous Subnautica games sold around 5 million copies at $30 a pop, so their entire gross revenue was $300 million, tops. And that’s gross revenue, not net profit.

So, where’s that kind of money going to come from? 5 million people bought copies of Subnautica in better economic times than this, you planning on raising the price or selling the game to more people?

I think I can answer that: movies that form a cult tend to land with a demographic, often one it wasn’t originally sold to. Clue, for example. Didn’t really land with its intended audience of baby boomers in the mid-80’s in large part due to the “one of three endings” theater gimmick. The movie found its audience with young millennials on Comedy Central, especially in its repaired “all three endings” format which increased the runtime and kept the frenetic farcical energy in the last act up longer.

What demographic was going to form a cult around Mom And Dad Save The World? It’s a movie by and about boomers, targeting the Gen X stupidity fad. Clue was ahead of its time, MADSTW is precisely OF its time. It’s not what the secret cabal of gay theater kids always wanted like Rocky Horror Picture Show. And MADSTW is unfortunately competent, so the “so bad it’s good” MST3K/Red Letter Media crowd won’t touch it. That and Jeffrey Jones has been canceled so there’s a bunch of people who won’t watch it out of principle now. So there’s no group this movie will land with.

By that logic we’re going to have to burn down Beetlejuice and Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Diabolical, isn’t it?

Mom And Dad Save The World (1992)

Stars Terri Garr and Jeffrey Jones as the Nelsons, an ordinary set of suburban boomer parents who routinely go on vacations/car trips. On such a trip, they are abducted station wagon and all by Emporer Todd (played by Jon Lovitz) of planet Spengo, a desert planet inhabited by a species of dog headed if male, fish headed if female creatures, and humanoid idiots. Ridiculousness ensues.

It bombed at the box office and is poorly reviewed but I had fun with it.