I have a nearly 4 year old neutered female cat. I have been thinking about adopting another cat, but I fear they won’t get along. Current cat is not really social, rarely likes being touched, instead requires attention: playtime, being near (but far enough), etc.

What are your experiences with second cats? Are there age / gender combinations which are the safest?

Edit: thanks for all the replies! Forgot to mention that she is an indoor cat.

  • BradleyUffner@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    I can’t imagine owning only 1 cat. They would get so bored! My 3 boys love playing and snoozing together. They keep each other mentally stimulated.

    Cat tax:

  • IceFoxX@lemm.ee
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    1 month ago

    As soon as you know that the first cat will only stay within the apartment, it is best to have two and make sure that they understand each other and do not fight.

    But of course it is never too late. Above all, you should be able to reach the previous owner at any time. That you can return the second one at any time if they don’t get along. The back and forth may be stressful for a short time, but it’s better if they don’t get along. Since you have a cat, I would also tend towards a tomcat (they like to cuddle more than cats) but sterilize if you don’t want any offspring.

    Edit: btw with returning i talk about 1-~15 days

  • angrystego@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Despite many commenters saying cats are not social, in reality cats were proven to socialize a lot. It is also true that they’re territorial and that can matter more if they’re not neutred (I recomend spaying all your cats for many reasons).

    Your cat can benefit a lot from the presence of a fellow feline. If you decide to get a second one, you should be prepared for a transitional period of helping the cats to get used to each other. As someone else described already, it’s good to separate them first and let them get to know each other in phases. It’s good to have enough hiding places for them and safe corridors.

    You will also need to give both cats more attention in the beginning and even after they start to befriend each other and play, it’s good to check whether they don’t attack each other too one-sidedly or just generaly too much - in that case you need to play with them more yourself.

    In my experience it’s really worth it, 2 cats > 1 cat.

    Oh, I forgot to add: your kitty is a beauty!

  • NABDad@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Cats are territorial. You are relying on just luck that they will get along. You’re much better off not trying. Your cat doesn’t want a friend.

    Four “add another cat” stories for you:

    1. My oldest had a cat and decided to get another cat after quite some time. However, the first cat had already established the entire house as her territory. They followed all the recommendations to try to introduce a second cat, but it made no difference. Now they can’t bring themselves to give up cat #2, so they have divided their home up to keep the cats separated.

    2. My second child and his fiancee had one cat. They decided to add two more. Their cats fought. When they tried to keep the new cats in a room and introduce them gradually, their old cat was so violently opposed to their presence that it tore apart the carpet under the door trying to g et at them. However, they ended up moving. Once in the new apartment, all three cats stopped fighting.

    3. Many years ago, a co-worker agreed to take a third cat. There was no fighting between the cats, but one of her cats was not happy. He started peeing on every surface he could get to. If you think the cat wasn’t doing it intentionally, he straddled her toaster so he could pee into it. Cats know how to communicate their displeasure. By the time she was able to re-home the new cat, the damage was done. Apart from the small appliances she had to replace, she had to rip up the floor in her house and replace it to get rid of the smell of cat pee.

    4. My wife and I added a second cat years ago, but we did it at the same time we moved into our house. There were some fights between them, but they were just because of their personality differences. The new cat was young and wanted to play, while the older cat had reached the stage of life where he wanted to see how much fat he could gain. She would attack him and chase him around and that would piss him off, but they usually got along and he got in better shape. When she got too obnoxious for him, he would chase her under the TV, and make her stay there in time-out.

    So, based on my experience, the only time you can safely add a cat to your home is when you move.

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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    1 month ago

    I had one lone male and got him a friend around age 3. The new kitty wanted to be friends, but he wouldn’t accept him until we moved to a new apartment and neither of them had a claim on the territory. Then they started sleeping together.

    Later, I adopted two kittens and at age 1.5 one of them got sick and died, basically like cancer but not actually cancer the vet told me. I got another kitten soon after because the survivor was in crisis and was very needy, she knew what had happened. It took some time for her to accept the kitten, but then she basically raised her. They sleep together and chase and play, but also occasionally squabble the way siblings might.

    I don’t know what more to suggest. These are the experiences I’ve had. I hope you’re able to glean something useful from them. Ask your vet for tips, too.

  • QualifiedKitten@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    A few years ago, I found myself wondering if my cat wanted a buddy, so I signed up with the local shelter to foster, figuring if it didn’t work out, I’d have an easy “out” to find the new cat another home. I actually wound up fostering a few litters of kittens before adopting a second cat, and have also continued fostering.

    If you decide to adopt or foster, be prepared for the first few weeks to be challenging. Read up on Jackson Galaxy’s guide to cat introductions, and move slowly from step to step. The guide is in 5 parts, here’s part 1: https://www.jacksongalaxy.com/blogs/news/cat-introductions-part-1-before-the-introduction

    Some cats accept new cats within days, others may take weeks or longer. My oldest is always super pissed off for the first few days, but we usually reach “Eat, Play, Love” around 2 weeks.

    • swampdownloader@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 month ago

      I added a second one and had a lot of trouble. Years for them to coexist relatively peacefully. I also recommend people foster to ensure it’s a fit before committing, it can be difficult if they don’t get along.

  • RedEye FlightControl@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Any time you have one cat. Cats are better in pairs.

    We usually adopt adult cats in need of a home, but our last adoption was 2 kitten brothers, and they have a special bond that the other cats don’t. It’s adorable, they still play together a lot even as young adults. We’ve always had at least 2, so no one is ever left alone when we are not here.

  • TheFriar@lemm.ee
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    1 month ago

    I think it totally depends on your cat. If my cat were more of a loner/not glued to my hip, I think I would’ve gotten her another cat to hang with. But she and I are really bonded and I feel like it’s hurt her feelings if I got her another cat. I’ve brought home a few fosters or had visitors and she’s never been thrilled. She’s also partially paralyzed after a stroke and has incontinence issues. I don’t think I could handle another cat myself.

    All depends on your situation. Sounds like you might be feeling like it’s something missing from your cats life if you’re thinking about it.

  • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    I always recommend people get at least two cats and never only one. They groom each other and they keep themselves company.

    Cats do get lonely because they’re social creatures, despite popular belief to the contrary.

    • Captain Aggravated@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      I think it depends on the cat.

      My cat loves people and hates other cats. I’ve never seen her interact with another cat in a way that wasn’t screaming and slapping. She adores humans though. In fact I’m gonna go hang out with her on the couch and watch TV.

  • limelight79@lemm.ee
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    1 month ago

    We have three cats, all adopted separately.

    We started with one, then when he was older, we adopted a kitten. The two never really got along, but the older cat passed away a few months later - had we known how sick he was, we probably would have waited on the kitten. (He seemed fine, but we later realized that cancer had already started.)

    We adopted another cat pretty quickly after the older one passed, because we didn’t want the kitten to get used to being alone. A few years later we adopted a third cat, hoping the second two would get along and play with each other.

    The “kitten” passed away several years later and we adopted another kitten who is still with us.

    Our cats have never been best friends, they don’t cuddle together or anything like that. It’s more of a tolerate situation. They do get irritated with each other from time to time, but it seems pretty even as to who is instigating it.

    They’ve never drawn blood or even had a major fight. They just kind of wrestle or chase each other, and sometimes I wonder if they are just playing.

    I do think that a cat that is used to being alone is usually going to have a tougher time with a new cat.

    (We’ re taking one of the older cats to the vet today. I recently realized he’s lost almost 2 lbs since last summer, and he’s being very active for an 11+ year old cat, so we’re wondering about his thyroid. The other old cat needs an asthma inhaler and steroid every night for his conditions. Like the vet said, as they get older, they start collecting health issues.)