so this one girl, i’ll call her ella (19f) is transphobic, homophobic

she lashes out a lot, exaggerates things, and cannot read social cues. however, she has autism and adhd and is mentally much younger.

she also gets mad when i call a trans man “he” and she says “SHE’S A GIRL EVEN THO SHE LOOKS LIKE A MAN LOL”

she says she got her views from her parents and refuses to change because “it’s the way i am”. for someone who was mentally 19, I’d cut contact, but she’s mentally a lot younger.

  • Ledivin@lemmy.world
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    20 days ago

    I think I remember it being 3 years on average?

    No chance in hell it’s linear, the gap would definitely change with age. But, as an adult with ADHD, I have certainly always felt a little younger than all of my peers… obviously anecdotal, but 🤷‍♂️

    • Lumidaub@feddit.org
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      20 days ago

      Yeah, I should’ve looked it up first, Russell Barkley says it’s 30% (I got a digit correct yay!). I know what you mean, all my classmates somehow seemed much more mature than me and I had no way to express that feeling back then.

      • KittenBiscuits@lemm.ee
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        20 days ago

        Hm, I guess dealing with parental quirks tilted me the other way. I feel now like I want to be perpetually 20, but I had a chronically depressed single/divorced mom and an alcoholic dad (I’m pretty sure he was self medicating for his undiagnosed ADHD, and have come to terms with all that went on). So yeah, I parented my parents.

          • jeffw@lemmy.world
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            19 days ago

            I was hoping more for studies that illustrate this, not just an article summarizing it all

            • Lumidaub@feddit.org
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              19 days ago

              All I can do is point you to Dr Barkley’s work (he’s a trusted authority on ADHD) and the references at the bottom. I know this isn’t ideal but I am utterly incapable of reading entire actual scientific papers, it’s a miracle when I manage to read articles like this from start to finish - which I know is an issue. Which is also why I tried to hedge my words in my original post (there seems to be evidence).

    • billwashere@lemmy.world
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      20 days ago

      I’m 54 and have ADHD. It may ever regress. Well according to my wife who says I act like teenage boy sometimes … especially with the filter turned off.