In light of certain recent government regulations redefining “child” to mean anyone under the age of 18, I would like to propose that we should adjust other terms for people of specific ages to match this new and increasingly popular language regime:
Child: Ages 13-17 Toddler: Ages 9-12 Infant: Ages 5-8 Newborn: Age 2-4 Foetus: Under 2 years old
It makes even less sense in the UK where 16 year olds can legally vote and consent to sex, but not listen to explicit songs on Spotify.