• TheRealKuni@piefed.social
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    2 days ago

    It’s not that EVERY full stop is passive aggressive, it’s about interpreting tone.

    So for example, when I text my parents and say, “Thank you for the invite, we’d be happy to come over for dinner next Monday!” and my dad replies, “Great.” That looks passive aggressive.

    He doesn’t mean it that way, tone interpretation from short texts just isn’t something he’s fluent in like those of us who’ve been texting (or IMing back before texts) most of our lives.

    If he had said “Great” that would be fine, as would “Great!” But “Great.” is interpreted as sarcastic and/or passive aggressive.

    • Baron Von J@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      and my dad replies, “Great.” That looks passive aggressive

      What about it makes it look passive aggressive? How would excluding punctuation make it not look passive aggressive?

      • osaerisxero@kbin.melroy.org
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        1 day ago

        It’s the explicit inclusion of period where ‘normally’ there wouldn’t be one. In texting or DMs it would normally be assumed that one-liners wouldn’t contain punctuation except to enhance effect, so the inclusion of the full stop is being read as a 😐 or exaggerated neutrality

        • Baron Von J@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          It’s the explicit inclusion of period where ‘normally’ there wouldn’t be one.

          But given the larger history of textual communication, full punctuation is normal. Texting isn’t charged per character so it’s not like there’s a benefit to leaving it out.

          • ApollosArrow@lemmy.world
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            12 hours ago

            Texting used to be done with a number pad, so going as far as adding a period used to be a statement. Obviously we all have keyboards now, but I’m sure some of that still translates over to today.

            • Baron Von J@lemmy.world
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              12 hours ago

              Fair point, for T9 typing I can see that. I wouldn’t expect millennials and zennials to have dealt with T9 much, though.

          • osaerisxero@kbin.melroy.org
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            1 day ago

            Texting isn’t charged per character anymore, and only in most places most of the time. And those habits may still persist in other places. My manner of ‘speech’ is very different in front of a keyboard vs on a phone, for instance.

          • Phoeniqz@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            1 day ago

            Leaving out unnecessary characters makes you type faster, that’s also why people write u instead of you sometimes

              • Phoeniqz@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                12 hours ago

                Well you’re used to writing “you” instead of “u” while texting (for the record, I also always write “you”). Similiarly, a lot of people (namely those who grew up with phones), are used to omitting full stops at the end of a message, so if someone does it it must be a conscious decision. See where I’m going with this? (Also it’s not like people who use them are immediately sounding passive-aggressive, context matters)

              • tal@lemmy.today
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                1 day ago

                I use Anysoft Keyboard on Android, and it has a toggle for that behavior, which I have off. I don’t know which software keyboard you’re using, but you might check whether it has such a toggle.

            • Baron Von J@lemmy.world
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              1 day ago

              If poetry text
              Is how you commune with friends
              Passive aggressive.

              edit: fixed the formatting, and my keyboard unironically took my double-tap on space to add periods for me! 😅

              • Pamasich@kbin.earth
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                21 hours ago

                Does Lemmy need the double space? This isn’t Reddit after all, and it’s the only Markdown implementation I’ve seen with that requirement for line breaks.

              • SreudianFlip@sh.itjust.works
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                1 day ago

                No, baron, I was just pointing out that there are lots of different rules depending on the medium and genre and participants. le sigh

              • tal@lemmy.today
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                1 day ago

                and my keyboard unironically took my double-tap on space to add periods for me!

                Markdown also permits a trailing backslash to be a linebreak, as an alternative to the two trailing spaces.

                foo\
                bar
                

                yields

                foo
                bar

        • mesa@piefed.social
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          1 day ago

          I don’t know anything about texting then. I would have been happy they responded.

      • TheRealKuni@piefed.social
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        1 day ago

        What about it makes it look passive aggressive?

        Good question!

        As I explained later in the post, “Great.” looks like sarcasm. My brain interprets it as having a sarcastic tone, and thus being passive aggressive.

        (I am not alone in this, hence the very thing we’re commenting on.)

        How would excluding punctuation make it not look passive aggressive?

        You might as well ask why tone of voice changes the way we interpret things. Written short-form communication has evolved cultural norms that some people understand better than others, just like spoken communication. Chalk my tone interpretation up to an adolescence spent on IRC.

        My point is that the full stop being passive aggressive is contextual. None of my uses of it here are intended to portray passive aggression or sarcasm, and if I wanted to do that I would not only change my sentence length and structure, but also my vocabulary.

        But of course these norms aren’t as readily understood as actual tone of voice, which is why things like “/s” can be useful.

        • Baron Von J@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          First off, thanks for humoring me.

          As I explained later in the post, “Great.” looks like sarcasm. My brain interprets it as having a sarcastic tone, and thus being passive aggressive. (I am not alone in this, hence the very thing we’re commenting on.)

          I get that it’s a common interpretation amongst a demographic.

          You might as well ask why tone of voice changes the way we interpret things

          Eh, vocal changes carry actual physical changes in the sound waves which non-hearing-impaired persons can perceive, so I don’t quite think it’s an apt comparison. But I understand your intent in doing so.

          But of course these norms aren’t as readily understood as actual tone of voice, which is why things like “/s” can be useful.

          Precisely why it seems odd to me to interpret the use of the basic of punctuation whose literary meaning hasn’t ever carried an absence of express indicator of emotional intent to be negative.

          Again, thanks for engaging with me on it, even though I still don’t get it.

          • Zerot@fedia.io
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            1 day ago

            I think it is because short form texts like IMs/SMS/irc are more like spoken language than written language. And if somebody talks to you and ends a sentence with “period”, the meaning/feeling of the sentence changes.

      • mech@feddit.org
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        1 day ago

        In my mind, the full stop “sounds” like dropping the voice at the end, like you do at the end of a sentence.
        And in speech, dropping the voice at the end of “Great” would sound sarcastic.

        Whereas an exclamation mark “sounds” high-pitched and excited.

        And no punctuation is so normal in text that my mind “adds” the expected sign at the end, which after “Great” would be an exclamation mark.

        It’s really hard to explain, I hope I’m making sense.

    • 9point6@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      it’s about interpreting tone.

      Kinda feels passive aggressive, idk man

      That’s silly, and at the very least probably gonna cause unconscious bias to second language speakers, neurodivergent people & just anyone who doesn’t communicate via text as much as we do

      • TheRealKuni@piefed.social
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        1 day ago

        That’s silly

        I don’t know what to tell you, communication is complicated. A lot of this is subconscious.

        and at the very least probably gonna cause unconscious bias to second language speakers, neurodivergent people & just anyone who doesn’t communicate via text as much as we do

        I agree, which is why it’s important for us to understand context and to attempt to interpret what the other person says in the best light.

        I didn’t think my dad was actually being sarcastic when he replied that way. His text conveyed a tone he didn’t intend, just like when my neurodivergent ass says something in a tone of voice harsher than I intend.

        This is no different from spoken communication, except there we get additional clues about neurodivergence and/or linguistic familiarity.

    • bluesheep@sh.itjust.works
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      1 day ago

      The boomer triple period is even worse.

      Thank you for the invite, we’d be happy to come over for dinner next Monday!

      Great…

      My dad does that a lot, and it’s so weird to me

    • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      If you interpret “Great.” as “passive aggressive”, you are nuts. It simply is correct grammar, something kids seem to be unaware of nowadays.

      • dogdeanafternoon@lemmy.ca
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        12 hours ago

        Everyone in this thread that can’t understand how a period can be passive aggressive just reminds me of Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. They are so focused on what the rules strictly mean, that they can’t detect the nuance of how people actually communicate.

      • SreudianFlip@sh.itjust.works
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        1 day ago

        The different context means it’s not a literary communication, but notation for casual speech.

        More script or score than Strunk and White.

        In that mode, punctuation is performative, and with a period after one word you should weigh heavily on a grim tone of voice, or perhaps sarcasm.

        As an old fart and former editor, context is key: there are many modes of expression, and the rules vary.

        • exasperation@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          15 hours ago

          Punctuation is context dependent, and it’s wild just how much of this thread has commenters who are purposely being obtuse about it.

          Punctuation on promotional signs is weird. We expect words like “SALE” and “CLEARANCE” and “25% OFF” not to have periods.

          Punctuation on newspaper headlines is weird. The AP Style Manual has all sorts of rules and conventions about headline language, and it’s different from normal written language.

          Punctuation on titles of artistic, literary, or musical works is weird. When Kendrick Lamar released “DAMN.” the period in the title was part of an artistic choice.

          And yeah, the idea that people can only text in complete sentences is absurd and differs from the norms of that medium since its beginning. Starting a conversation with “Hey.” is different from starting a conversation with “hey” and people pretending they don’t get why is kinda puzzling to me.

      • bluesheep@sh.itjust.works
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        1 day ago

        It simply is correct grammar, something kids seem to be unaware of nowadays.

        What a boomer take. I could just as well say that the “kids” seem to be more aware of the use of punctuation in text messaging and the implied emotion they convey

    • Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      It’s not that EVERY full stop is passive aggressive, it’s about interpreting tone.

      If he had said “Great” that would be fine, as would “Great!” But “Great.” is interpreted as sarcastic and/or passive aggressive.

      Ok, zoomer.

    • NewNewAugustEast@lemmy.zip
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      1 day ago

      In what way is that passive agressive? That is so weird. I simply ignore tone on the internet or texts. There is not any. Just words. They said great it means great. That’s it.

      And I have been sending messages most of my life, and it is a simple rule: there is no tone in texts or messages.