• throwawaysalami@discuss.onlineOP
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    22 days ago

    How will her knowing I like her make her feel differently?? That doesn’t make sense to me. I’m still me, I am not doing anything differently, I am still as “attractive” as I was before telling her. So I don’t see how it matters.

    Edit: Granted, eventually I’ll have to tell her but that’s after hanging out a couple of times and she’s shown signs of liking me back

    • pinball_wizard@lemmy.zip
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      21 days ago

      How will her knowing I like her make her feel differently??

      People like to be liked.

      Telling someone I liked them was being vulnerable, and vulnerability demonstrates strength, which is attractive.

      The question that has worked best for me:

      “How am I making them feel? And am I satisfied with how I am making them feel?”

      Usually this pushes me to take risks: often it means being honest about how esteem them while giving them plenty of space.

      I have felt the best when I had a not-so-secret admirer who was willing to spend time with me without demanding a commitment too early. So I try to give that same experience to the people I care the most about.