I’m trying to plan my life, but I feel like I’m putting together a thousand-piece puzzle with no picture on the box
did you go to college yet? if not start in a community college and figure out from there, just dont take to long to finally choose a field though, like more than 2years to finally take courses in a specific field. no need to jump into more expensive 4 year when you can plan in a 2 year first, this gives you more free time to research different fields.
gen x here.
life always finds a way to shit on you at your worst. nothing new there.
celebrate the wins no matter how small, and every day you don’t give up is a win.
learn from your losses and pick yourself up from them and get ready for tomorrow.
take breaks, eat as best as you can, sleep regularly. take care of your health.
read more. not online bullshit. not the news. get a library card and read actual books.
Well, without any context it is hard to say. In very general terms, I have a little advice.
Find a job you don’t hate. You’re going be spending a lot of your time there, if it sucks your soul out you will never be happy. I think this is a super important one.
Don’t acquire needless debt. It’s so easy to fall into the buy now, pay later mentality. Especially when Klarna and Afterpay are shoved down your throat with every online purchase. It’s a slippery slope.
Quality is much more important than trendy. Sure, there is stuff that is quality and trendy. But you don’t need to buy a Le Creuset when a Lodge will do just as good.
Get a cheap hobby. Maybe there is a little up front capital to get started, like for tools or something. But if the rest of it is cheap, you’ll be able to do it more often. One of mine is restoring antique fountain pens. I needed a pen press, a buffing wheel, jewelry pliers, sac shellac, some 100% talc. But broken pens and sacs are cheap, so it is something I can do anytime for a few bucks. The detail work is soothing. And consumes hours.
It gets increasingly difficult to make friends after you’re out of school. So, hang on to your closest ones. Make time to keep seeing them, even if you don’t feel like going out.
I don’t know how young “young” is, but I think it’s pretty normal to feel that way in your early 20’s. It’s a time of big changes. And don’t compare yourself to social media. It’s not real life.
The key to happiness is not to have any hard expectations. I’ve heard the phrase “strong opinions held loosely” at work. But in life, soften the strong part. Random chance will have more impact on your path than anything else, so flow with it.
Get used to it. Seriously. The world is designed to keep you down (unless you’re a nepo baby, which it doesn’t sound like).
Trying to hold all those pieces of the puzzle together is stressful, and things will just keep piling up, and sooner or later it will all come crashing down.
Just take it a day at a time. Prioritize the things that are important, keep a list of things that require regular attention, and have some general idea of where you’re going and how to get there. But don’t stress too much about everything working out exactly as planned; be flexible because real life is dynamic and things always change, including your own priorities.
Make time for yourself and doing the things you enjoy, get plenty of rest, drink lots of water, and don’t be afraid to “do nothing” from time to time. Spend a little bit of time each day outside breathing fresh air. It’s all you can do, really…
Welcome to the club. The dirty little secret is nobody knows what they’re doing and any adult who tells you differently is lying to you. We are all flying by the seat of our pants in life, and just doing our best to make it. Enjoy the ride and try to have fun while you’re here.
I’m in my 50s and have at LEAST 2.8% of stuff figured out for my personal life.
Plan to change jobs every two years to ensure a steady increase of income.
Take your time and find yourself and your place.
I feel it took me longer than most to find my place in life, but looking back everything I did in life lead up to this. It’s really special to finally get here. But I also took my own pace to get here, and thats not a problem at all.
Don’t be afraid to take a chance.
Dont borrow a shit ton of money till you got a career going you like.
Save some money. Doesnt have to be a ton but just a few dollars per week will be better than 0
Dont lend money to friends (if you do, dont expect to get them back)
Life gets better
I was struggling too when i was around 20.
Life is awesome now years later
You’re kinda fucked. The world needs a reboot.
In the meantime, figure out which professions pay a decent enough wage and do the one you find most tolerable/ least objectionable.
You really don’t know what the future holds, so don’t get bogged down planning too far ahead. Set yourself some achievable goals for the near future. It’s ok to have some vague plans for the distant future, but keep in mind that there is a good chance that your future could look very different than what you imagine it might be.
I second this. As they say, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. It’s a lot less overwhelming to tackle problems in small pieces than by looking at everything at once.
There is no picture on the box. The pieces are blank… So draw an image on the box…
Visualize it and make at least one step in that direction each and every day. The pieces will then take on that image. Give that picture time to form.
Ask yourself, what does YOUR life want to be? Creative? Inventive? Adventurous? Domestic? Entreprenurial?
NGL, you don’t really hit it as to what you want and who you are until you’re 27 or so, then you’ll find that by 35 you’ll be stepping into your full potential. (It’s Peak Skills time.)
Sort that first… WHO you are. What you want, what you’ll tolerate and more importantly, what you will NOT put up with, no fucking way fuckyouvery much… (this is absolutely critical for mental and emotional well being)
Then give yourself time and be aware that tastes change as we get older, so be prepared to roll with a change if it comes to you.
Don’t hang on a sunk cost - regardless if you spent a decade going in one direction and then you find that you’ve pivoted to another…
The effort you put in going in that first direction is experience that will only give you a base on which to move from…
There’s a reason we have the phrase “well rounded” to refer to those with a wide range of skills, confidence and experience.
Everything is a benefit - whether it is a skill or just personal confidence.
Being a young adult, frankly, is a ball of suck.
My own life from 17 to 27 was a struggle with loneliness, self-doubt, financial hardship, and a ton of hard, ugly lessons.
It was ALSO a time of incredible fun, moments of pure joy and fierce companionship. And in all of that I learned a lot of confidence and fortitude. You will as well.
At 61 I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know what and who I am and have managed to find a niche that I fit into and expanded it into a profession.
Do I make the most money I could? Oh hell no… However, I’ve got a super community of people around me - friends, family and co-workers and we all get along and care for and about each other and that is what I have found matters - in the long run - the most.
Network the hell out of your life with people you admire and whose work you respect. The rest, in time, falls into place.
I don’t know how to explain it in terms that don’t come off sounding drippy and trite to some…
You’ve got more potential than you realize. Focus on finding the things that bring you the most joy once you’ve sorted who you are and explore them to their fullest and see what comes from that. There’s really no hard and fast rule, other than be flexible and open to change.
And NEVER hesitate to cut toxic people from your life. (speed dial that MF’er)
You got this.
Look for this book, they probably have it at your local library.
“Discover What You Are Best At” by Linda Gail.
I was almost 30, out of work with an injury, when I learned about it. It’s a series of self tests you can finish in half a day, and an index of jobs that use those skills. For example, a paramedic and a hair dresser both need good dexterity and good people skills. Totally different jobs but a similar skill set. Jobs are divided up by training needed.
It pointed me at a job I’d never considered.
If nothing else, it’ll give you some ideas to ponder.
Lot of good advice here on how to make good decisions and strategic choices to make a better life for yourself.
But, I’m here to give a different perspective. I’m going to retire soon and I’ve never had a sensible career plan in my life that lasted. I’ve bounced from opportunity to opportunity like a piece of driftwood in the surf. I’ve made my career choices based on what seemed like a good idea at the time. I’ve been a company director, I’ve been broke and (fortunately only technically) homeless and everywhere in between. I’ve had stressful jobs and easy-going jobs. All of which is to say that plans are good but sometimes winging it can work out too.
The other thing I will say is that while I’ve worked some shit jobs and some great jobs, I’ve always done a good job regardless. I’ve treated bosses, colleagues, and subordinates fairly and honestly. So those opportunities I mentioned a paragraph ago, they came because people I’ve worked with were happy to work with me again.
