• scarabic@lemmy.world
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    9 hours ago

    This little bit of lore tries to be so horrifying with its “slow digestion over a thousand years” but wouldn’t you be dead from lack of water within 2 days?

    (mad scramble)

    “Acksully no, the Sarlaac taps into your bloodstream to provide you with sustenance the whole time so you stay alive and conscious.”

    Okay but lifespans are not 1000 years even.

    (madder scramble)

    “Ackshully the Saralaac rewrites your DNA to extend your lifespan so you can be conscious over 1000 years.”

    Wow that’s pretty impressive. How many species is its process compatible with? And how does such a lengthy expenditure of energy make sense, nutritionally? It takes more energy to keep a human body alive for 1000 years than the Sarlaac can possibly derive from one human corpse.

    (mad mad mad mad scramble, this time using the Force)

    “IT’S STAR WARS OKAY. STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT ALL DETAILED.”

    Haven’t you been adding all the details?

    “Mods! Rule 1!”

  • Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Impossibly ancient sith Lord spending millennia using the force to escape a sarlacc and arriving just as the empire falls and the new republic is trying to start would have been so much better than “somehow… Palpatine returned”

      • Canaconda@lemmy.ca
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        1 day ago

        IMO Boba’s escape precludes the sarlacc from being able to contain a sith lord.

        All canon/noncanon stories essentially have Boba blowing his way out with thermal detonators and/or subsequently being spat out.

        I feel like the only reason that method of escape wouldn’t be common knowledge is because of how rare sarlaccs are to begin with.

      • Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Genuinely considered Boba Fett’s escape being the catalyst that sets the guy free. Could even retcon in that the only reason either worked was because of the other. Boba fett’s bombs could only weaken it because of the psychic battle it was already in, sith guy won the psychic battle because the sarlacc was distracted by the bombs.

        Could even capitalize on book of Boba fett by having fett play a reluctant hero role for the new cast, informing them of the sith guy’s plans because they were both connected through the sarlacc so there was some bleed over.

    • huquad@lemmy.ml
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      1 day ago

      So much better than “somehow palpatine returned” huh? Insert, Do you know how little that narrows it down meme

      • Railcar8095@lemmy.world
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        16 hours ago

        I didn’t see the movie and for years I though it was a meme. An absurd one, too dumb to even be really funny.

        • huquad@lemmy.ml
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          14 hours ago

          After last Jedi, I decided to wait for reviews. Never ended up watching Rise and just read the silly synopsis instead

    • AWistfulNihilist@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Fuck, i love this so much as an idea, or what if the Sith Lord’s consciousness became dominant rather than merged. The only problem is that Boba Fett cut himself out of one with some armor shards and hatred. An ancient sith lord could probably wear one as a hat.

      Extra idea, Sith Lord’s consciousness has been waiting for a perfect force sensitive victim to fall in, so they can transfer to that body, Naruto style.

      • Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        If they’re in the same sarlacc, maybe Boba only managed it because the sarlacc was currently weakened by the psychic battle with the sith lord. Who in turn capitalizes on the distraction caused by Boba to then escape himself.

    • Greddan@feddit.org
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      1 day ago

      The people actually going to see Star Wars movies nowadays don’t know what the fuck a sarlacc is. They are there because: Han Solo, Wookie, Jedi, ICONIC!

  • Mongostein@lemmy.ca
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    1 day ago

    Wouldn’t you die of starvation/dehydration long before being digested, leaving no conciousness to absorb?

    • seejur@lemmy.world
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      11 hours ago

      Let alone die of old age. If I’m in Star wars. I would immediately dig one out and start a pharmaceutical company for anti aging products

    • essell@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      The absorbtion process provides food and water, you’re essentially part of the beasts body tissue.

  • Smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    The tech to film at that resolution doesn’t exist, and even if it did we don’t have any devices capable of playback at such high resolution. You’re way past diminishing returns, why do yiu think there’s no 8K widespread yet??

  • LePoisson@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    They’re called tyranids. They’re in 40k … They literally consume whole planets and take things from the genetic code of the various species they’ve made contact with. They’re a hive mind entity.

    Sure, it’s no pit in the ground eating someone for a stupid long time but it’s pretty close.

  • ryathal@sh.itjust.works
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    1 day ago

    If it was 40k, as the sarlac consumed more souls it would gain the ability to manipulate people into feeding it more with increased power. It would also be capable of growing to the point it could consume planets.

  • Etterra@discuss.online
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    1 day ago

    Reminds me of the Mystery Flesh Pit. He probably got his inspiration from the sarlac come to think of it.