edit: the date isn’t happening anymore. he texted me asking if we could change the venue as he realized he can’t really afford that restaurant at the moment (???, why was this realization so last minute) & i told him no worries i can pay for everything. he told me no way i could ever let a girl pay, it’s not fair to the girl and also “emasculating” to him. hate that attitude. called it off and cut contact. thank u, next.
So I hit this guy up on Insta, and we’ve been chatting for the past few days, calling and video calling and all that. Tonight he’s taking me out to dinner; just a date, nothing more. I talk to my parents about everything, and they told me to observe his behavior but keep an open mind.
My partner is a lot younger than me. But when we meet we were at similar life stages: she was starting a first career, and I was changing mine. Our age gap then was smaller, both absolutely and relatively, than yours.
Anything can work, but each red flag makes it less likely. If you’re not after something serious, who gives a shit. If you are, be on high alert. Is he a man child? Is he controlling and finds young people easier to control? The latter is hard to find out before it becomes a problem.
I went on some dates (before I met my partner) with more similar gaps to what you’re talking about, though still none so extreme (university town - more than half the people I dated back then were staff or students at the university). It became obvious to me that while these people were nice and smart and funny, it was going to be difficult to have a long term relationship, practically, because of that difference in life stage.