I always wonder if I’d be the same person I am today if my parents hadn’t exposed me to sex from a young age by openly fucking and doing BDSM around the house, if I hadn’t had unsupervised internet access, and if I didn’t have friends with just as dysfunctional families feeding off each other’s bad habits. I feel like I grew up too fast and didn’t really mature at the same time, if that makes sense.
I spent some of my healing time grieving who I might have been if only …
That said 10-ish years from my last round of therapy I find that my life is amazing in ways I could have never predicted. I’m glad I committed to the therapy and the work outside of that.
Yeah, definitely. I spend a lot of time thinking about what things would’ve been like if I had made different choices.
I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or not. (Intentional or otherwise).
The Nature vs. Nurture is poorly phrased.
We have: (a small selection)
- genetics
- epigenetics
- physical environment
- emotional environment
- information environment
- social environment
All shaping us at the same time. So yes, if you would go back in time and be the same genetic you, but like adopted at birth somewhere else, you would still be you genetically, but everything else would be different.
Maybe better, maybe worse. Even if life brought you down some bad backroads, you never know. Maybe this is the multiverse that takes you to where you really want to be. Your best self. We’ll see.
Very insightful take, violet! From the information you’ve shared here, I agree and I hope at some point in your life you seek therapeutic help because your upbringing was messed up in very particular ways.
And yes, we all are, partly. We’re not pebbles in a river just going with the current though, we have introspection and free will, meaning we have the possibility to choose a different path. 🙏
“I don’t want to be a product of the environment. I want the environment to be a product of ME!”
Everyone is a product of their environment, as well as their genetics and epigenetics. You still have a choice of what to do with all of that. I’m learning to accept everything that happened so there isn’t a constant “why me?” noise in my head. The mental quiet will let me make better decisions.
I encourage you to find a good therapist if you haven’t already. Be consistent and be honest with them and yourself.
This is not me saying you’re crazy. This is me saying the internet is not a safe place to help you with a problem like this. What you experienced was not okay. Given your age and the highly sexual content you are posting I would recommend taking a break and understanding why you’re doing what you’re doing and what you are getting from it.
Apologies if you don’t need this. Sounds like you’re at a crossroads. No slut shaming here. Slut on!
Thanks for your concern. 🫶
I’m not looking for help and certainly not pity. This is just one of my outlets, I’m a yapper, I love talking, lol.
Yes of course! There is mystical inherited forces, beyond biology that shapes you.
We’re all products of our environment.
The ironic part about your statement is that you seem to have negative feelings towards your parents open sexuality, but there are cultures where that’s within the realm of normal. It just so happens that the environment you were raised in outside your home happens to consider the environment you were raised in inside your home dysfunctional.
Especially in areas of extreme poverty, there often isn’t enough space for privacy, so it just isn’t a thing. If you have a single room hut with 14 children… that didn’t happen because the parents snuck off into the bushes every time. It’s not considered improper or dysfunctional.
Nah this is a weird comment. I highly doubt OP grew up in a space where it was not possible for their parents to shield them from their sexual activity, especially BDSM. This is child abuse bar none. At best it’s incredible negligence, but parents could have been getting off knowing how bad it was.
Also, I’m gonna need you to explain to me the evidence you have that families in other cultures are banging in front of their kids and that this isn’t affecting their psyche.
Kids will find anything normal if the people around them act like it’s normal. The problem for OP was mostly caused by the disconnect between what her parents appeared find normal and what (most of) the rest of the country she lives in find normal.
No but only because my environment has shaped me to believe that I’m not.
I suppose so, there was a moment, senior year high school. I was planning to go to college, really for no other reason than it was the expected plan. Family wasn’t rich or anything, I didn’t know how I was gonna pay for it but it was the plan. Go to college, graduate, get good job, make lots of money.
A friend who took all the same classes as me, got pretty much the same grades had the exact opposite plan. He was just gonna work at the local pizza place, never even considered college, as far as I can tell he wasn’t any richer or poorer, it was just never part of his plan. Find work … live the rest of his life I guess.
Always wondered if we were raised in the others family what wouldve happened.
Don’t worry about it too much. Everyone is fucked up in their own way. At least you seem to be having fun.
Yes. To a large degree.
But what else will influence what you become as a person? Your genes. You’re 50% of your mothers genes and 50% of your fathers. So that you are similar to them is no surprise.
