So long story short, I essentially spend the last 1.5 years rotting at home in bed oscillating from mild to heavy depression, though abt 7months of them was intense studies before I burned out. But anyway I went to a college today, a decent one not amazing, just whatever I got, just to get a look. It starts next week. And to find places to live in a different city (though its only about 100kms apart from my home).
And yeah I am kinda scared now idk. I do not really have any meaningful friends or something or a mentor to ask advice, so well I would like to hear your stories! Or any tips? I am kinda introverted, well not kinda quite a bit. But I wont say I am under-confident, I do not have trouble talking to people or something, mostly I just find hard to relate with them. Even today I tried striking some casual convos but seniors have some attitude towards freshers i guess, and freshers were too busy completing their docs maybe.
Best advice I can give is this: have a “say yes” mentality in your social life. Someone asks you to go do anything/attend any event, say yes.
Also, in terms of academics, treat it like your job --8 hrs a day, five days per week. Stay on top of stuff. Don’t put off doing what can be done today. For big essays or projects, work on it in parts (day 1 outline; day 2 supporting sources; day three first third of rough draft; and so on and so forth).
Best of luck.
treat it like your job --8 hrs a day
It helped me so much after I realized this. It’s a really good way to learn discipline. I have worked 35 hours before for 2 years, so it wasn’t too hard to get used to it.
I know so many people that started out with a super relaxed life style, smoking pot, partying and enjoying their student life, only to realize after 3 years they fucked up. Many of them are still studying, while I have graduated 6 years ago now.
I still had to job for financing my student life, so 8 hours a day was no realistic, but I gave my best.
Everyone else who is going to university in your class is in the same boat as you. Meet people, talk to people, get involved in things.
Also don’t spin into the ground about what your major is that will change.
University is about managing the work loads man.
As tempting as it is, to skip classes, don’t. Go to every class.
I am envious, undergrad was so excellent.
My only college regret was that I did not spend enough time in the library. I could have spent at least 3 hours a day studying inside that library, and instead I did nothing during the day, and procrastinated in the evening.
In regards to making friends, this is probably one of the easiest places to make them. It doesn’t mean you’ll be friends with everyone, but it means you’ll have a lot more opportunities. Say yes and be open to be experiences.
Also, a big shift for college from high school is that more of the responsibility to stay motivated and on top of things falls onto you directly. That includes getting up and going to class and doing the work when you’re going through a depressive episode. You’re going to need to have a way to push through when you’re otherwise not up to it.
Also, college isn’t just about learning. It is about experiencing new things and taking leadership. Don’t forget to do that as well.
College isn’t a race, it’s a marathon. Pick a pace that works for you. This might mean a light class load, being jobless for a while, or limiting your social life. Once you have academia under control, introduce new variables.
I’d say youre very normal in that regard. All freshmen are awkward and probably scared to respond or talk to new people.
Today’s phone addicted world is a lot different than when I went, but I’d still say having conversations, smiling, are all good easy things still. You can get a mentor in college and often they will assign one to you for freshmen. Will you have a roommate? I myself never liked any of my roommates and the best times were when they dropped out and I had my own room. I had a campus job which was a lot of fun and pretty relaxed. Maybe look for that if you want some easy side money and to meet folks.
The majority of people tend to think they need to get drunk to have a good time so drinking will be a very popular thing, if youre in the US. Wasnt my thing so I never went to parties.
I don’t do any sports but football games and crap are a good way to meet people. I’m not someone who likes those types of people generally so I didnt do that. But Frisbee golf is fun sometimes.
I totally get the not relating part. My hobbies tend to be completely out of the norm even though to me seem like something everyone does (cars, music, videogames, but specific eras). Anyway, youll find a friend group thats into the stuff you are. Usually I would try to see if I vibe with someone by asking what music they liked or what car they drive. Sometimes that gets you a weird look or you get the most average “I like all music. Ummm I think its a Toyota” which usually for me was a sign that they probably won’t vibe with my interests. Or just ask what they do for fun. Or the age old “what’s your major”.
Also remember, most kids are assholes. Their brains havent developed and they may have had bad parenting plus now toxic news and social media addictions. So its probably not you if you get weird reactions from them.
And yeah I am kinda scared now idk.
“don’t worry about it”. 😐 Which is bad advice to someone after burnout and specifically asking for advice, but it’s also kind of true.
But first things first:
Even today I tried striking some casual convos but seniors have some attitude towards freshers i guess, and freshers were too busy completing their docs maybe.
Some people are just… useless and weird. Don’t bother with them. Like, don’t stress about why someone doesn’t want to talk with you, or does or doesn’t do something. Including professors. Some are nice, some are just there to do their job, and you will be able to tell which is which. I’ve met plenty of people who can’t hold a conversation to save their lives. Somehow.
mostly I just find hard to relate with them.
Yeah, that’s normal. The world is a big place, chances are you won’t relate to many people.
My biggest, best piece of advice is to join some student club that does stuff that’s not just studying and does it more consistently than just one semester for some course. For example a sports club, who does try and does go to meets and stuff, but the point is enjoying the sport together. Or art. Or books. Or science. That’s where I had most fun and where I got most out of my time.
Because studying is hit and miss. Of course you try to go for something interesting but you never know in advance if you can actually stand the work or do the workload or if you need to switch… majors I think it’s college? Don’t worry about that either.
The ONLY THING you absolutely must do, is attend. Get out of bed, and just GO, try to pay attention in the classes and take notes. That’s the barrier most people fail at. They skip classes or attend but don’t pay attention. Put yourself into the situation where “learning” is just the thing you do. Like going to the library, reviewing your material and planning your day in advance to do it.
And everyone is constantly stressed for time too. It’s a good idea to focus on some studying, but don’t reject opportunities that are coming your way because you think it’ll conflict with that. Occasionally try to do more than you think you can handle and you’ll surprise yourself when it works out. Those places are filled with other students who want to do stuff and “career opportunities” (companies trying to score cheap employees) and events and this and that. Just go and keep your eyes open.
Purely from the academic side…
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Go to class. Don’t take online/remote classes if possible. Don’t skip. If you need extra incentive, calculate how much you are spending per class. Getting your ass out of your dorm/apartment will help motivate you and do more stuff. This will be an unpopular opinion, but I suggest taking the earliest classes you can and stacking them up. It will give you more time to get your work done later.
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Sit in the FRONT row. It will help you pay attention. Take notes. Not on a laptop. By hand. Writing will help you remember.
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Work hard/play hard. Weekends are yours, but weekdays are for getting shit done. This will help you build good habits for after you are done with school. College is super expensive. Don’t fuck it up.
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Don’t take a major that doesn’t have some type of acreditation. Again, this will be unpopular, but ask yourself if you could learn stuff on your own/through experience/as a student-at-large. Accounting: yes. Medicine: yes. MBA: yes. Law: yes. You can’t do those things without college. Art: no. Philosophy: no. Just go DO those things. Take a class if you want to strengthen your skills, but you need to be incredibly driven to succeed.
Accreditation is for if the degree/classes is recognized by other institutions and fulfills certain requirements. Art, philosophy, underwater basket weaving, and some made up major can all be accredited.
I think you are searching for “STEM”
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Without jeopardizing your academics, prioritize rare things.
TV and video games will always be there. Your friend asking you to come play tennis won’t. Go play tennis even if you don’t think you’ll love it.
Learn about the “growth” mindset online or from the college.
Don’t take things too seriously, socially not academically.
From my experience at a few different schools, other students don’t care whether you are a freshman, senior, etc. People intermingle pretty freely, although there may be some older students who don’t want to hang out with an 18-year-old fresh out of high school, simply due to being at different places in life.
Anyway, I wouldn’t worry about that.
I’ll start with academic before moving towards social. Depending on your major, class schedule and highschool your freshman classes will vary between so easy it’s boring to the hardest grind of your life. So get into good habits for all your classes by attending them all and spending the time you need on each class which won’t be consistent. Find where you can study. I was a my room only person but I know lots of coffee shops and library people.
As for social life go in with an open mind about everything. You will meet lot of different type or people with different hobbies and things they enjoy. Try some clubs, sport teams, geek life (fraternity or sororities) and anything you find interesting. Especially the first few weeks go tag along to things and invite others with you. You won’t know who you will vibe with or what group you will want to hang with. This is especially true amongst freshmen. Remember that everyone is nervous and that is what drugs and alcohol is good for. Try them slowly with people you can trust and look out for your friends.
Edit: if you have a history of depression make sure you take your meds and any other tools you use. You will be under lot of stress (both positive and negative) and it’s easy to stop some of these habits. They are important to keep up
Just be sure you have the college stuff sorted out first, like all the registering and scheduling and learning where things are, to make sure that important primary mission is successful. With the college bureaucracy stuff sorted out and working, you can put those deal-breaking hassles behind you and focus on doing more cool stuff.
If there are bars and places where bands play, be sure to check those out. Sometimes you can meet cool people, and find out about parties. College parties are the best. College towns are the easiest places to get laid also, so be sure to have sex whenever you can.
Join a cool club. Best way to make cool friends.
Pick classes and professors that are easy. A single bad semester can fuck GPA.


