Everyone farts. But not everyone tracks their farts.
Now, smart underwear is making a case for paying closer attention to what comes out of your body. Its creators said they hope that tracking flatulence could eventually give researchers new insight into digestive health — and how a person’s farts offer clues about what’s happening in the gut.
Brantley Hall, the brains behind the smart underwear and an associate professor at the University of Maryland’s department of cell biology and molecular genetics, said the team’s “ultimate mission is to help people eat high-fiber diets comfortably with low intestinal gas.”
Imagine your underwear needing internet connection and update’s every time you try to use them. What a time to be alive.
Yes, but Fartmaxxing had never been easier!
until it stops working or the company goes under, then you are stuck with a useless overprice underwear.
So they’re saying they want to guide folks to diets with lower farting by… telling folks when and how often they fart?
Like you don’t know that already? and who the fuck is living this sad life that needs AI drawers to strava their ass???
Am I living under a rock such that as it turns out most people have uncontrollable flatulence running rampant to the point we need medically enhanced AI? And they can’t tell nor track how often they pass gas???
Is farting such a necessary thing that folks can’t live their daily life without AI intervention? Am I living on some parallel earth where my life isn’t focused on farting gas like a Junji Ito comic?
Is the world mostly folks who are about to explode from gas at any given moment?
The really fucked I’m part of this is the fact they are training AI on your farts so that some day AI will be able to realistically reproduce fart scents that smell exactly like yours without your consent
And then they will say this is their intellectual property and you will be charged a licensing fee if a sniffer detects an infringement.
God, I love capitalism…
Forget about getting anywhere on the major online dating sites if you don’t post a good, Certified FartScore on your profile.
Might be easier to track when I’m not farting.
nice try big data
Harvest your fart data for the highest bidder
Relevant username.
butt does it have AI (anal intelligence)?
No, but the probe itself does have AI (anally inserted)
It also helps you come up with new thoughts, with the AI (Anal Inspiration) setting.
Why though
Could be to learn about your digestive health, could be to discover a new fetish. Who’s to say?
More crappy data about you to sell (pun intended)
Instantly on the cloud.
MyCloud
I would, genuinely, rather shove a probe up my ass or collect a stool sample than wear some weird-ass smart underwear.
*weird ass-smart underwear
Once per week but it lasts 6 hours.
Smartpipe at home…
If it tracks smell, you are going to need a bigger data center.
