Not going to offer many details on the where or how, as I don’t intend to dox myself, but suffice it to say that I will continue touching butts for an extended period. I don’t like feeling aroused by the act. These people placed trust in me. Trust that I mean them no harm and that I am safe to be around. I can certainly be both while aroused, but I’d rather not have to deal with this.
I’d prefer not to dissociate through work, but I can’t find another way to contextualize my experiences in a way that doesn’t leave me frustrated until I get home.
Oh no that was mostly unrelated and intentionally so. I don’t struggle with it because patients, being human beings, are generally pretty gross (and I’m usually seeing the grossest parts of their lives). It sounds like OP doesn’t have the grossness to fix the problem for them and that was the best alternative framework I could think of.
I do not, unfortunately. Some butts are gross while others are not. It’s a frustrating spectrum