People start talking shit about you/mocking you →you do nothing or brush it off or laugh it off →they start getting comfortable with it and continue doing it + you become “that shy dweeb, who it is ok to pick on, because he ain’t gon’ do sh- about it”
People start talking shit about you/mocking you →you insult them back →you somehow come off as “angry” and “talking back”
People start talking shit about you/mocking you →you resort to physical violence →you’re now “aggresive and violent”
You can’t win, can you? How do some people manage to make others respect them?
Yeah, I heard that the trick is to make them consistently suffer the consequences for disrespecting you, but how exactly are you supposed to do that, especially if the one disrespecting you is your boss/has another type leverege over you (yet, I’ve witnessed some people not allowing others to rail them while being in that position)
Don’t know why/how being a snitch (or not) is related to respect.
You left out an option.
People start talking shit about you/mocking you -> you call them out publicly, stand up for yourself, not with aggression but with assertiveness. “Dude, what the fuck is your problem? I’m not doing a damn thing and here you are disrespecting me for no reason. You that insecure? You gotta drag people down? How about you grow the fuck up. You wish you were more like me.”
Problem with this, is that it takes a certain level of self confidence that doesn’t come easy for a lot of people. And you have to be ready for pushback, which is okay, because now if you have to get aggressive, it’s because someone else got aggressive first.
Also, an ounce of prevention: Live your life in such a way that you’re true to yourself, exudes confidence, and doesn’t invite derision. Be proactively kind. Make friends and allies.
If you have to work at that, then do so.
Tried that, people can see you’re bluffing
Don’t bluff.
You have to first not care about their opinion of you.
I once worked with a guy who would just look at you with a blank look on his face when you said something stupid. He had the patience of a saint, and would just look at you.
It’s a pretty amazing thing.
Being completely unengaged and unreacting is a powerful tool. I’ve worked for some people who simply didn’t react to anything. Loved working for them. They taught me a lot.
Well that’s my advice. Take it or don’t. 🤷🏻
First, you can’t make people respect you.
And why do you care if someone who’s a jerk respects you?
The post describes that it turns into violence in the end? They care because of the implications.
you’re stressed tf out. and also very likely autistic. if there are any ways you can, try to reduce the stress. i have no idea what stage of life you’re actually in though.
also, please proofread your posts. don’t expect random people to read something you put very little consideration into.
I almost certainly am not, because if I was I wouldn’t be that acutely aware of the other person (or a group) not taking me serioisly
Autism light edition person here: We aren’t unconscious, you know?
please research autism. its a spectrum and it takes a ton of different forms. it might actually help you understand why you work the way you do. saw that happen with a lot of people and late in life ADHD diagnosis, they were immideatly better, because they could put a label on the pain points. its also way easier to seek out information and connect with others if you know what is happening in your head.
Shaming works great.
There is Ender’s strategy, which consists in reacting so disproportionately that nobody will dare pick on you again.
There is also the madman theory, which consists in convincing your foes that you’re crazy and unpredictable, and better left alone.
I would not recommend either of them.
I’m not sure how you can deal with your problems, because I remember being picked on when I was your age and I never figured it out myself either, until I grew old enough that it simply stopped naturally.
But there’s one thing I know: don’t be a snitch unless there’s a very good reason (i.e. something illegal, physical assault or anything that truly goes beyond the pale). Snitches get stitches is real, and also you don’t want to be that person who tells on others, for your own self-respect.
Best way I found to deal with it was not engaging, only if things got out of hand.
Nah, somwtimes life throws you into situations where you have to engage or/and not engaging in and of itself will signify a defeat
Not engaging is different than attempting to ignore.
Learn to just go stand in front of them, and look at them emotionless. It freaks people out.
The key is changing the frame. This is a common concept in managing people - whoever controls the frame, controls the group. Bullies depend on everyone “sticking to the procedure” - that is staying in the default frame.
Learn to change it.
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nah, not really, at least I don’t think so
If everywhere you go smells like dog shit you should probably check your shoes
“When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they do not stop, destroy them.”
— from “The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth” in Anton LaVey’s Church of Satan
“I can fix her”
