I’ve had Chinese girls pretend to message the wrong number and then start talking about cryptocurrency. Does that count?

Chinese spy: (In sexy voice) So what’s in the secret burger sauce?
Me: I am the shield guarding the forbidden knowledge.

Honestly, can a Chinese spy take my trauma from me?

Wasn’t she just trying to make Nvidia more amenable to dealing in China? If having a tryst with a Chinese model and making a bunch of money off of it isn’t winning at life, I don’t know what is.

Until the divorce settlement comes…