Sometimes being annoying is doing something wrong. If a kid is deliberately being disruptive after repeatedly being told not to, then yeah, they’re doing something wrong.
You are correct (here comes the but) but often times that acting out isn’t just to be annoying. As a kid, being disruptive is sometimes the only way you can get the attention of your adult. We treat kids like anything outside of their basic needs is unimportant.
Not wanting to lecture anyone I’ll leave it at that.
I agree wholeheartedly.
actual addition to conversation
The only instinct a child has to get attention is to be disruptive. Eventually they learn patience, better verbiage, and how to time their interactions with others. Time isn’t really a concept yet and things are almost an “on/off” switch.
Hunger doesn’t exist during playtime until Hunger is activated, in which case, Hunger is all that exists. Hunger can only be eliminated with help as the cookies remain furiously out of reach. HELP!
“Attention-seeking behavior” is “hey I need help with something” in their first language. It’s up to the adults to figure out what’s going on. Finding out why they are being disruptive helps, a lot. If they feel they’re being ignored, work out spending time with them as reassurance… when convenient. If they’re hungry, take a moment to procure a proper snack, and then they’ll be satisfied. They might not even know what they need - do any of us really - and that’s where listening can be helpful.
Again, time not being easily explained such an on/off age.
I am not a child therapist. I’ve just worked with too many “difficult” kids.
While I don’t disagree, I have a point to make.
Recently watched a home movie of our kids when they are little (18 years ago), so ages between 3 & 8.
It was a little horrifying to hear the absolute despair in our voices as my wife and I kept asking one kid after the other, “please stop.”
Three kids, all desperately trying to get ALL the attention. It’s amazing the five of us survived.
I don’t particularly recall the day the video was made. Hearing our voices, it sounds like we were just completely past the breaking point. Yet, consider: that was a moment that we considered adorable enough to record forever. Watching it now, they were adorable. However, it sounds like we were dying inside without realizing it.
I hear the same voices in every video. I love my kids and I love being a parent, but it’s amazing looking back how much that and all the other demands on us was just absolutely crushing the life out of us.
raises a glass Parenting is far from easy.
Need to get back to silent videos and photos only.
Let’s not forget kids being super happy, having a great time, playing loudly, just enjoying life to the max, can be annoying.
Technically, being annoying is against the rules of the household. If the household reflect society’s rules, the kid will learn valuable lessons, if not, the kid will learn the wrong lessons and will have to figure out on their own how those rules apply to real life l.
As an ADHD kid in the 60s and 70s, I was punished for existing by most teachers/school boards, other kids, and my father.
(That doesn’t mean that I wasn’t hella annoying, of course.)
That being said, I agree.
80s. Mom. Same otherwise. Only now understanding my dad didn’t hate me for being ND. In the end, I think he envied that I learned to love myself in ways he couldn’t as an ND nerd in the 50s, and having to fit in, or getting jumped.
My dad was a drunken asshole who grew up in a tough world. He wasn’t suited to fatherhood, and wasn’t prepared to deal with a kid that was not him.
I suspect he had his own ND issues that would have been even more difficult for him do deal with as a kid in the 40s and 50s, not to mention his parents.
He was probably raised with the same kind of abuse I was, and more. I don’t hate him.
